


Bara

by monwonpanda



Series: SonShin(e) [6]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anime References, Coming of Age, Embarrassment, Family Feels, First Love, High School AU, Hoseok eccentric, Humour, M/M, Shounen ai, Voice Acting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-10-23 21:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10727322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monwonpanda/pseuds/monwonpanda
Summary: Delayed coming of age story.Hoseok, a senior in high school, reluctantly agrees to become a voice actor for the company his brother works for. He has every right to worry considering he has to voice multiple gay characters engaging in perverted acts while trying to hide the fact that he, himself, is gay.and that's how he meets his first love. So it's not all bad.





	1. Introduction

 

This isn’t normal, this isn’t right!

“There’s no way you can expect me to do something like that!”

“But Hoseok, it's for your precious big brother,”

“My precious big brother should expect something so perverted from his adorable little brother. Why do you want to taint my innocence,”

“Aww, it’s not like that. Plus, you’re like eighteen. How innocent can you be??”

“Plenty innocent, goddamn pristine white wings innocent!”

That’s how the topic started. He had asked it casually enough, over supper. I thought it was a joke, choked on my food even. Did I mention my mother was at the table? Well, she was and didn’t say a thing. Strange, I thought so too.

Must be a joke right?

But my brother’s laughter faded and his eyes finally opened fully and I knew. He wasn’t joking at all.

-

 

_Years ago._

 

My brother had dreams. Big dream, dreams we couldn’t afford. There was a notable age difference between us, eight years to be exact but I barely felt it. In a house with no father and constantly working mother, he served as my only source of homely comfort.  
We were close but you don’t really go saying those things about your siblings. The dynamics you share with them are really unspoken. Just like that I never questioned it.

Still, it hurt.

It was about tw years ago. I returned from school to an empty house, just like any other day. The exception was, today was my birthday. Like every year, I postponed celebrating with my friends because I wanted to come home and receive my gift. There was no one there to give it to me but Jiho would send me a text at exactly 4:18 pm, telling me where he had hidden my gift.

It was traditioned in our house. I had been born at that time and he insisted I could only receive the gift at that moment. This discussion was usually followed but the repetitive story of the day I was born and how they lied to him that my mother went to visit a baby shop. My dad was around that time but there isn’t a single picture of me with him.

The text arrived promptly and on instruction, I darted upstairs. Roughly tumbling into his room, I basically threw his cupboard doors open. Sitting on a pile of neatly folded clothes is a polka dot wrapped box.

I remember observing it carefully, shaking it as I tried to guess what it could be. Jiho generally gave five guesses before he insisted I just open and find out. He wasn’t here to tell me if I was correct or not, so I gave up after the second guess. Underneath the layers of wrapping was a brown box that contained another box with another one inside it. I just knew he was having good laugh at work.

Finally, I touched something glossy. Tucked in tissue paper, I found a tin box and immediately I knew what it was.

Hurriedly I opened the box and staring back at me was the fossil watch I had been keeping my eye on. It wasn’t too extravagant as far as design, a bit chunky on my small wrist but pricey all the same.  
I don’t remember much else about how I felt because shortly after securing it on my wrist, I saw something red peak from the base of the cupboard. Curiosity got the best of me and I pushed back the folded blanket to reveal an array of magazines.

An array of porn magazine.

No.

An array of gay porn magazines.

From there on, I just felt cheated. Jiho had shared magazines with me, pushed a few copies of hustler in my direction but I had never seen these. He never gave me any hint that he was interested in this kind of thing. All I could think about is why wouldn’t he tell me. Not like I would not understand. I would. I was gay after all.

It weighed heavy on me. Could there be a connection between my brother and I’s wavering sexuality? Some trauma in our childhood. I was good at lying to myself. After hiding myself so well, I just wanted justification. Maybe I thought if I could find the root, then I could remove it.

How foolish. The rest of my fourteenth birthday was spent reviewing my existence, reviewing who I thought I was, who I thought my brother was. That was probably the day I really started living. No that was the day I stopped denying myself. After that day everything turned upside down.

My friends ranged from egotistical pricks to airheads. It’s easier to have fun with dense people but they don’t do anything for you when you need actual company. I had quarantine myself so well, I didn't think I needed company. I was wrong because each time a person spoke to me, I wanted to bring up my brother, my new found epiphany. I wanted someone to acknowledge that I was gay because I need someone to acknowledge all of me.

God must have been in my favour because that’s the only reason why I would imagine I would run into Akise in the boy’s toilet. We had spoken on maybe two occasions prior. He was from japan but everyone was astounded by his fluent Korean. He glanced at me briefly before he went back to doing his make up. He was known for that. It wasn’t uncommon for Korean men to use makeup but Akise’s abilities were next level. Most girls were envious of his skills  
That being said, the males weren’t too accommodating to him. I had come to his defense on more than one occasion. I never lingered though, probably because I was scared he would see through me. That’s why, it’s better to surround yourself with dense people.  
When I was done taking a piss, I walked up to the sink next to him.

Kohl lined eyes stared at me through the mirror.

“You’re into guys aren't you,” He had said it so easily.

Finally, somebody saw it. I thought I would dread the day this happened but felt so relieved, like the weight of the world was lifted off my chest. I didn’t know how to reply, so I just stared at his reflection, my lips curling into a feline smile.

I was wrong about before. Now I felt like I was living.

Later that day, some seniors planned to gang up on him in the bathroom. For air heads and pricks, my friends actually showed concern. They were reported but that didn’t stop a particularly determined individual.

The day after my fifteenth birthday, I got into my first fist fight. It had gone by in a blink of the eye. I was much smaller in built but there was so much rage in my eyes, I felt ashamed. On that day, Akise was taken to the nurse’s office. I followed wordlessly. Even after getting my shallow wounds treated, I remained.

Even so, the fury of the flame never died out completely. I returned home late and waited patiently on my brother’s bed. On the night after my fifteenth birthday, I confronted my brother with the intention of confessing.

But nothing of that sort happened.

God apparently had been too nice to me already.

He flustered when I asked about the magazines straight out. But in the end-

“I’m not gay,” he confessed shamelessly.

He wasn’t gay. Not in the least bit.

“You know about that games right?” He asks as he stood in the doorway.

Yes, Hyung wanted to be a game designer or an animator. Big dreams we couldn’t afford, so he took up a job as a delivery boy.

“Yes,” he knew I knew.

“Well, it takes money, a lot of it,” he confessed further as he sat next to me.

Then there had been a period of silence, I’m not sure just how brief but his faced had stayed fix in confusion.

All that was left was to tell the truth.

“We made a gay dating sim. You know with Korea's idol market, the flocked for it. We capitalised, the money we made was good but they expect more. Hoseok, I quit delivering for fedmax about a year ago.”

I had been selfish,”You lied.”

“Only because I didn’t want to embarrass you but we barely making ends meet back then. Hate me for that, for lying but don’t hate me for being gay because I am very much into women,” He had sounded desperate, for a grown man to sound like that.

I felt terrible.

“Do you enjoy it??” I asked but maybe I shouldn’t.

“Not really, boy on boy. It's called yaoi on the Japanese market. It’s pretty popular but it feels kinda unnatural,” He avoided eye contact and I was thankful.

Ah, I was unnatural. I hadn’t been referring to that though. I was wondering if he enjoyed making games since it was his ideal occupation. I wanted to know if he was happy.

But of course, being gay was unnatural, it was embarrassing, even worthy of being hated by your brother for it. No one wanted to be associated with it, yet alone be it.

It hurt because I never wondered how the financial issues just so happen to smoothen over. I never shared my brother’s or my mother’s burden. It must have been tiring for them but I was too selfish. I couldn’t continue this way.

Along with coming to terms with my sexuality, I vowed to take care of my family. Ironically enough, it looks like I could accomplish one without destroying the other.

Just as I came alive, I seemed to die all over again.

-

  
_Present_

 

The topic wasn't pursued after dinner and Hoseok was more than glad. As he laid on the couch, He didn’t how felt about the request.

“I was thinking, maybe you could lend us your voice?”

The mere thought of it had Hoseok rapidly shaking his head. The lasts thing he wants to do is voice a gay character, yet alone a gay character partaking highly perverted acts.

A hand comes to rest on his head and he looks up at his mother’s concerned face,”We’ve never pushed you. Your brother works so hard because he wants you to have options, the options he never had. So don’t think less of him,”

In that very minute, Hoseok thinks his heart might just crumble. He was selfish again.

Why am I like this?

Hoseok never thought less of his brother. If anything, he always looked up to Jiho. He was the person Hoseok aimed to please more than anyone. He was aware, he lacked in comparison to Jiho. His brother just seemed to excel, in all areas. Hoseok couldn’t keep up with him on any platform, unless one of those platforms were allocated to looks. Other than that, he had nothing on his brother.

“I’m going to bed,” he says more to himself than anything.

Next morning

Hoseok notices the sky is cloudy. He's pretty sure the forecast predicted sun but it was too early. Bag packed, adorned in his school uniform, he slips into the kitchen quietly.

“You’re early,” Jiho remarks from the lounge.

It startles the younger, he wasn’t completely ready to face his brother.

“Yeah,” he mutters as he digs in the fridge.

“Can’t find what you looking for?” Jiho asks and Hoseok huffs.

“Nah,” he looks around before settling on a carton of milk,”just milk.”

“Cereal for breakfast, that’s rare,” he smirks.

_Cereal.Like hell._

“Nah, just a cup of milk,” he says as he turns his back to reach for a cup  
.  
“Seokie, you don’t have to push yourself. It’s fine if you don’t want to do it,” he offers gently.

Hoseok’s movement comes to an abrupt halt, his hands dropping down to his side as he stares into the counter.

His words are small but firm and he’s fairly surprised at his own lack of confidence,” I’ll do it.”

He can hear the smile on Jiho’s face, he can feel the glow.  
“You sure?”

His brother was too nice of a person.

“I am.” He assures himself as well.

“This is rare,” Their mother blinks in confusion as she descends the stairs,”Jiho’s been leaving so early, I rarely ever to get so see both of you in the morning.”

“We have breakfast together Saturday,” Jiho defends.

Their mother just cocks her eyebrow,” You mean lunch, because you only get up at one.”

“Wait, you'll have breakfast without?” he almost yells.

Hoseok nods,”yeah, just something light.”

“But we eat bacon and eggs, that’s breakfast food. Why would we eat it for lunch?” Jiho pushes.

“Hyung, we’re not American,” Hoseok comments.

“I make it because you like it silly. You really think we don’t eat anything until noon.Don’t be foolish,” She remarks as Jiho sinks into his seat.

“I feel so betrayed,” he mumbles as he pouts.

“Milk, you’re having cereal?” she looks at Hoseok expectantly.

“Hell no,” he answers instantly.

_Never._


	2. i

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Hoseok reads 'Killing stalking' and questions his state of mind. Then blames his brother for it.

It’s annoying, it’s so annoying.

Hoseok liked makeup, he was nowhere near skilled with it as Akise but he tried none the less. What he could do without though, was the constant gawking and gushing female population that made no attempt to hide their shamelessness.

By the first break, he’s had about enough.

“I don’t why you even bother if you know what’s going to happen,”Akise comments as he applies more makeup as Hoseok removes his.

“Cause I think, ‘hey I’ll be fine, I'll just ignore their annoying asses' but it never works out,” Hoseok sighs as he continues wiping off the thick eyeliner.

“Cause you’re too nice,” his friend replies.

Hoseok has to agree with that. He’s never been forthcoming with his opinions, just kind of skids around it in an attempt to keep everybody happy.

A fair amount of time is spent in the boy’s bathroom, the white porcelain tiles staring back at the.

“Let's go,” Akise finally says and they proceed to the rooftop.

Like Moses, the sea of students part. Hoseok is still slightly amazed by this phenomena and Akise always laughs at him. His popularity wasn’t something he liked to delve into, probably because it was shallow.

Shallow as fuck.

He was simply gifted genetically and therefore considered good looking. It may not mean as much as you think but in Korea, aesthetics is a business in it’s own right. Hoseok planned to profit from it as much as he can. From his brother’s height, Hoseok doubt he was going to get any taller. Modelling was out of the question.That being said, he planned on milking this ulzzang thing as much as he can.

“I swear, you should really think about becoming an idol,” Akise teases as they reach the rooftop.

“Yeah sure,” Hoseok mumbles,”everybody is going to love a gay idol.”

The sun still isn’t out, the clouds shielding it. The air feels nice, it's refreshing against his pale skin. Just what he needed after almost dosing off in math. Numbers were not his forte.

They throw down their bags and Hoseok lays his jacket on the concrete floor to lay on. His eyes drift shut but he hears Akise digging in his bag. There’s a swing of the door and footstep and it’s only about time-

Ooof, Hoseok gasps as something heavy crashes on his stomach. He wants to be surprised but he isn’t. Tired eyes, looking down in annoyance, he’s met with Xiao’s wide grin.

“Seokie,” she squeals as she nuzzles her head into his stomach.

“Get off,” he hisses.

“If anybody has to walk in on this, they would legit think we’re having a threesome,” Akise shakes his head.

It was compromising. Xiao in between Hoseok legs, her arms wrapped his waist as her head rests on his stomach. Yep, very compromising.

“But,”Xiao innocently explains,”It’s okay because Hoseok’s gay.”

“And no one would think we’re having a threesome because they think you’re gay,” Hoseok directs at Akise.

Oh, the irony.

As far as the majority was concerned, Akise was the gay one and Hoseok was the straight one.

“It could still be a threesome, except we would share Hoseok,” Xiao thinks out loud.

“No thank you,” he says as he tries to pry her off.

A lot has changed in those three years. Hoseok has actual friends now, ones he doesn’t need to mince his words with. Ones that know he isn’t as sweet and unsuspecting as everyone thinks he is.

“Sooo,” he doesn't think twice about telling them about his gig at his brother's working place.. . .

. . .

 

“Oh my god, are you serious? Voice acting?” Xiao almost screeches.

“Too loud Xiao,” Hoseok comments but she juts rolls her eyes.

“So is it erotic?” Akise asks, his cigarette still in his hand.

“Well yeah,” he hadn’t asked but Hoseok just assumed. He should have asked though.

“Woah, you think he knows?”Xiao asks unexpectantly seriously.

Hoseok just closes his eyes,”I don’t think so.”

He doesn’t think so. He’s been careful at home. He leaves no physical evidence. All the material he watched or read was online and he makes a habit of clearing his history.

“Hoseok, don’t you think it might come out,” It’s akise’s turn to be serious.

The clouds are parting, the blue of the sky more profound with the increase of sunlight.

Hoseok winces,”I won’t let that happen.”

He said he wouldn’t burden his family. They’ve done more than enough for him. Even when he got contracts from brands, they never accepted his money.

“You worked hard for that money, you enjoy it,”

It wasn’t hard work. He had a quota of pics to upload with certain pieces of clothing. Nothing serious, he just needed to keep up with trends. He just needed to sell his face.

“I can’t let it happen,” for the sake of his family.

And maybe for his own as well.

-

 

The day crawls by. The only break he gets is English when he gets to sit next to his crush. If he was considered good looking, then Wu Yifan was the freaking greek god Adonis.

From his incredible height to his killer jaw. Wu Yifan was gorgeous.

But dumb.

Hoseok found it adorable though, the way his eyebrows would furrow over the simplest of things. It was funny but cute.

Hoseok loved English for the simple reason that Yifan almost always considerably lost and Hoseok would have the only genuine excuse to interact with him.

Today was no different, the greek God had forgotten his book at home once again. Hoseok rejoices, trying his best not to openly air punch in victory. Yifan had a reputation for being cold but Hoseok  
soon discovered he was just an awkward puppy, a scary awkward puppy. After a few lesson, he seemed to trust Hoseok more, even initiating conversation. Hoseok had felt like he was trying to befriend a stray dog.

His efforts proved fruitful. Like other days, Yifan scoots his seat closer in order to share the textbook. Hoseok gets the best seat in the house. He can smell the strong cologne, the material of Yifan’s jacket brush against his arm.

No one should look as good as Wu Yifan in a school uniform. It was just sinful, the way his pants fitted his absurdly long legs, the tie hanging loose as his collar is messily open.

Fuck me.

After all the shit that’s been going on, he sighs happily at the contentment of being in Yifan’s company. Things weren’t so bad after all.

Yifan quirks a brow in question but Hoseok just smiles as he shakes his head.

-

 

Oddly enough everything felt lighter after that. Hoseok starts to feel like everything is perfectly normal. Yifan nor his brother knew he was gay, just as it should be. His balance returns and he feels safer.  
Xiao insists on getting bubble tea and they indulge her. They know coco’s menu off by heart. Hoseok orders his lemon combo, Xiao gets the pomegranate and litchi mix and Akise orders his chocolate slushie. It pleases him, their routine, their dynamics.

It's getting dark by the time he reaches home. Dinner is ready and the table is set but his brother hasn’t come back yet. His mother always waits, insisting they should share one meal in a day.

“Mama, I'm back. Going to bath,” he yells as he heads upstairs.

Throwing his bag onto the bed, he peels his uniform off and steps into the hot shower. Zoning out the minute the warmth engulfs him, he lets his minder wander. He can’t help but think of what would happen if he told his brother he was gay. What would Jiho says, what his mother say? He reasons that they wouldn’t openly reject him but surely they would feel wounded. Surely they would they would wonder what went wrong with him, was it their fault, how did they not see it?

He didn’t want to worry them.

Or maybe

“Seokie, “ a voice calls through the steam.

Snapped out of his musings, Hoseok's eyes gravitate towards the door.

Jiho laughs at him,”Supper is ready, I’m starving.”

Hoseok shrugs him off but turns the shower off once he knows his brother isn’t in the room. He doesn’t really rush, he isn’t sure if he knows how to. So when he finally goes downstairs

“Finally!” his brother remarks, throwing his hands in the air,”You need to quit sleeping in the shower.”

“Oh hush, Jiho. We wait for you to come from work, you can wait for your brother,”

“But Ma, he was literally sleeping in there,”

“Was not,” Hoseok shoots back.

“Was too,”Jiho retaliates.

“Jiho, you’re too big for this behaviour,” their mother says as she dishes the rice.

“Yes,” Hoseok promptly agrees with a Cheshire cat smile on his face.

His brother just huffs, too eager to stuff his face with food.

The usual goes by and Hoseok is glad the topic doesn’t come up. He hopes it doesn’t deter Jiho, he had meant it when he said he would help but he still kinda dreaded it.

After supper, he watches some random drama before heading to bed. He ignores the piling amount of homework in favour of playing a couple of hours of Pokemon mixed with chatting with Xiao, who just never ever seems to be asleep. He’s just about ready to call it a night when Jiho yells through the walls.

The house wasn’t big nor was the walls thick. Hoseok would have been able to hear Jiho evidently if his brother just spoke loudly but no, Jiho has to scream and Hoseok knows their mother is going to scold them.

“Yes,” he answers.

“I’m sending you a reading list of manhwas, have a look through them,” He yells once again.

“Both of you'll shut up,” Comes their mother’s inevitable scolding.

It kinda of makes him laugh a bit, things haven’t changed much between Jiho and him since they were little. Their mother probably can’t wait for them to move out.

“Okay will do, sorry ma,” he yells his apology, evidently hearing Jiho’s laughter seep through the wall.

Yep, their mother was just about done with them.

Crawling further into bed, he curls up into a ball. Phone in hand, he waits for the inevitable. Basically, these were going to be the character he was going to voice. He was a bit too eager.

_Calm yourself. It’s no big deal. I’m sure a lot of straight people do this stuff. Not that I’m straight._

There's a bright flash and Hoseok almost yelps. Unlocking his phone and opening his brother’s message, he’s met with a long list of titles. Hoseok recognises some, it makes him swallow thickly. They weren’t all mahwas, quite a few were mangas. Some already had animes. Hoseok should know, he’s watched it. He’s familiar with almost eighty percent of the list but there’s few he hasn’t heard about.

Luckily they weren’t too long or too graphic. Hoseok would never understand why rape was such a popular theme in Yaoi community but it was very much favoured. It was almost nauseating because being gay isn’t about simply wanting to fuck another guy. He can’t help but think that most of these authors weren’t in the least bit inclined to being gay themselves, most being female actually.

Still, he was a sucker for it and Junjou romantic and sekaichi Hatsukoi was one of his favourites, along with 'you are my lover’s prize'. So he had a slight kink for rough handling. He had read some hectic, graphic content but nothing prepared him for the last title of the list. It was a manhwa.

“Killing stalking,” He says out loud.

That’s a descriptive title.

He was intrigued and by the end of it.

“Oh my god,” he shakily mutters into the darkness,”I’m terrible human being.”

It wasn’t complete, only updated to chapter twenty but holy fuck, Hoseok felt such a variation of muddled emotions. It was nothing like what he’s read before. Nope, this made rape looked like child's play. Hell, rape in itself was generally confined to the physical in manga but this manhwa totally went in it. It was gritty and grimy, you can feel the distate on your skin, in your mouth but Hoseok just couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Sleep was not going to come easy.

-

 

_Next day, supper_

 

“Hey,” Jiho beamed,”Thought I might see you again this morning but you were still asleep.”

Hoseok just glowers at him, leaving his brother mystified.

“Something wrong?”

“hmph,” Hoseok ignores the question and proceeds to eat, making a point of hogging all the meat.

“I'm a growing boy, I need substance,” He argued.

Jiho only offered a brief glared before he returns his attention to the remaining meat.

“Play nice now boys,” their mother warns.

After supper, they lounge on the couch as usual but Hoseok once again, tries to hog all the space.

“Stop being a pain,” Jiho pokes his thigh, “Move.”

It only urges Hoseok to persist, spreading his body out,”Sit somewhere else.”

“Oh I will,” Jiho smirks and it worries the younger.

Grinning from ear to ear, Jiho acts like he’s walking away before darting back and jumping on his brother. It causes Hoseok to shriek, much louder than he needs to. His hands coming up to shove his brother off but Jiho swats them away. It continues like that till their mother tries to enter the lounge and almost spills her tea as she avoids the havoc.

They end up on the floor.

“Animals don’t get to sit on sofas,” She comments smugly as she sips her tea.

“But cats do,” Jiho just had to open his mouth.

Hoseok knows better.

“Well, cats behave better than you two!”

Hoseok offers one last glare before dropping his head into his brother’s lap.

“You’re unbelievable,” Jiho gawks but cards his finger through the soft tresses.

Hoseok just smiles and shrugs, eyes now glued to the television.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manga- Japanese comics  
> Manhwa-Korean comics  
> Manhua-Chinese comics
> 
> Yep 'killing stalking' was pretty hardcore or maybe it just had a really good shock value. Whatever it was, it left an impression.  
> You can find it online mangago or your usual manga site or you can support the artist on lezhin.com (you need to pay). It's manhwa by Koogi.


	3. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Hoseok gets friendzoned and meets his brother's married ex.

Hoseok spots the note on the fridge as he enters the kitchen. Messily written in black pink is a message from his brother.

**Come to my office after school.**

_Oh, it’s finally happening_.

After all the prep talks he gave himself, he still feels a knot tightening in his stomach. It stays with him the whole day. He doesn’t bat an eye when some chick conveniently walks into him and blushes like mad, he doesn’t roll his eyes when he hears her friends giggle like a gang of geese. Hoseok is too lost in the dread and what is that? Excitement?

-

 

“You okay,” Akise asks, his mouth filled with rice.

“Yeah,” Hoseok replies, dreamily as he stares off into the sky.

He’s not and Akise knows it but he was never one to pry. Hoseok appreciates it.

“Where’s Xiao?” he asks absent-mindedly.

“Perving over some guys in the swimming hall,”

“For the fun of it?” he doesn’t put it past her.

“Nah,” Akise snickers,”She’s helping with the sport’s day that’s coming up. Apparently, they letting her handle it because they want it to be fun.”

Hoseok chuckles. Sports were never going to be fun, as far as Akise and Hoseok were concerned but Xiao was all for it. The upside to this was at least Hoseok would get see Yifan play basketball and Akise wouldn’t have to go to class.

They lock gazes and they both smile because they know they’re thinking the same thing. It comes up once in a while but there’s never been an answer. Neither of them knows how Xiao became their friend.

Even after a smoke and trying to over power it, the knot forms once again as he goes back to class. It stays there, quietly annoying him. Luckily, English comes to his rescue.

Yifan looks especially handsome.

“Is that eyeliner,” Hoseok peers closer and it makes the taller blush.

“Y-Yeah,” he stutters,”Is it bad?”

“No, it looks good on you,” Hoseok assures him.

_Hell anything looks good on you._

“Thanks,” he smiles,”My girlfriend insisted I should try it.”

“Oh,” Hoseok blinks, a tight smile forming on his lips.

The class begins and all Hoseok can do is reprimand himself. He doesn’t really like English anymore.

He stays relatively quiet through out the lesson, smiling and nodding along with Yifan. He’s not devastated really. He didn’t expect anything to prosper between them. He knew better but still imagining his crush with a girl is not favourable. As much as he hated to admit it, he can’t help but feel he was increasingly warm and welcoming to Yifan because of the underlying feelings.  
That did not work out for him now because that only made the other comfortable with sharing things with Hoseok.  
Hoseok didn’t know how to deal with that, now that it was confirmed and set in stone.

He had no chance.

He may argue that he knew nothing would happen but that didn’t mean he didn’t want anything to happen.

It would be unjust to pull away from Yifan now, it would be spiteful. So when Yifan asks him to stay back to help with cleaning duties, he agrees but he doesn’t know why.

 -

 

“Thanks for helping me,” Yifan smiles shyly as he cleans the board.

“How come you didn’t ask one of your friend’s?” Hoseok didn’t mean to sound rude.

“You're my friend, my only friend out of the basketball team. They’re at practice,” He explains.

“So I was your last option,” Hoseok snickers.

It was fun seeing Yifan stumble,”No, not like that. Just sometimes, it’s different talking to you but I never get the chance to. Well apart from English,”

If Yifan wasn't straight with a girlfriend, Hoseok would have been over the moon but that wasn’t the case.

“Yifan,” Hoseok hates how sincere he is, he hates how soft he is but not enough to stop himself,”You don’t need an excuse. You can talk to me whenever you want, any time you need. I’ll listen,”

The giant puppy looks at him with adoration and Hoseok feels chest tighten. He has to remind himself that he never had a chance.

So he cuts the growing fondness before it blooms into a flower,”We’re friends after all.”

It's like a spell and the deal is sealed.

“Yeah,” Yifan offers a toothy grin,”We are.”

Yifan offers to walk him home but Hoseok remembers he has to go to his brother’s office. So they part ways at the station. Having Yifan as a friend might not be bad at all, Hoseok quite enjoys Yifan’s questionable humour. In the end, he still gets to admire the fine specimen that was the greek god Wu Yifan. It wasn’t all bad.

 -

 

“You’re late,” He hears his brother before he sees him.

  
Hoseok stretches his neck to look over the dividers, his brother being stationed right at the back. He ignores him though, rather smiling as he greets the rest of the employers. He’s familiar with them, three of them being friends with his brother since his school days.

Jiwoo, the loudest of the bunch embraces him in a bone crushing hug, her blonde hair fluttering around her,”You’ve grown up so much.”

Oh this always happens, always.

They gang up on him, gushing over what a cute kid he was. Hoseok bears, barely remembering the days they would walk him home when his brother was busy.

Kangin smirks at him,” I bet you were busy with some girl, neh?”

Yesung gawks,”No.”Obviously still in denial over Hoseok’s maturity.

“Maybe,” Hoseok shrugs casually.

Jiwoo can't help giggle,”You sound just like your brother. Maybe it runs in the blood.”

Hoseok doesn’t agree. They were nothing alike, nothing. For one, he’s brother isn’t gay and secondly, his brother is apparently much denser because he has yet to notice Jiwoo’s feelings for him. Hoseok sees it bright as day but that wasn’t his problem.

“Don’t ignore me!" Jiho screams, all Hoseok can see is his arms flailing in the air.

“You better get going, “Kangin smiles suspiciously but Hoseok doesn’t prod.

Sighing lightly, he bids them farewell and makes his way to Jiho’s work space.

The office was open planned, the desk arrangement resembling a maze. The walls are littered with schedules, rules, reminders, number and things in Japanese. It’s been a good while since he’s been here but things haven’t changed. The huge white board that covers the span of one of the walls still has the little evee he drew on it.

“Hyung, this is a bit too much don’t you think,” Hoseok says, his eye almost twitching at the overwhelming amount of Junk scattered around the area.

The studio was fairly messy, but the organised kind of mess. The studio minus Jiho’s station that is. It was just chaos.

“Aww it’s okay, we won’t be working here,”He at least has the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

Quickly, he ushers Hoseok out and into a small boardroom.  
There’s a lady with red haired waiting for them. Hoseok can’t help but notice just how perfectly her makeup is applied. The round of her lips is neatly covered in matte mauve, her eyes thickly lined with a plum shade. She’s pretty.

Jiho seems to think so too because he smiles brightly as he takes his seat.

“You're late,” she says curtly.

“We know,” Jiho doesn’t give him a chance,”Couldn’t have been avoided.”

“So this is little Shin,” she observes Hoseok carefully.

“Yes. Shin Hoseok, please to meet you,” He introduces himself.

She breaks out into laughter and Hoseok is baffled. He looks to his brother but Jiho seems unphased.

“Aww, he’s so cute. Nothing like you,” She grins, her perfectly white teeth on display.

“That’s mean,” Jiho pouts.

She playfully continues to bash his masculinity but Jiho takes it in his stride. Hoseok on the other hand, has no idea what’s going on.

Long manicured fingernails come to wipe away the tear lining her eye,”Oh Jiho, I always have so much fun with you but there is business to attend to.”

_Finally._

“So I take it you know why you here,” she pauses and proceeds when Hoseok nods lamely,”You don’t have any objection?”

“No,”

“None,” she pushes,”I need to know you’re all in. We can’t waste time and then you ditch us.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Jiho answers firmly.

“I won’t,” Hoseok reaffirms.

She gives him one last threatening look before turning her attention to Jiho,”If he does, I hold you responsible.”

“Fine,” he agrees in a heart beat.

Hoseok can’t help but question the amount of faith his brother has in him. There was no way he could screw this up now.

“Good. I want you in the studio first thing tomorrow. I’ve arranged for you to meet a veteran in this business. She obviously has no experience in boy love but she’s an expert in eroticism. It’ll be okay for you, since you’re the feminine one, the uke I think they call it.”

Hoseok damn well knows what a uke was,”Why do I have to be the uke?”

She looks at him wide eyed, before looking at Jiho and breaking out in screeching laughter. Her palms slap against the desk as she huffs to find her breath, water leaking out of her eyes as her face turns red.

“What’s so funny?” Hoseok turns to his brother.

Jiho smiles sympathetically at him.

“Are you kidding me, look at you. You’re like a porcelain doll ready to be ravished,” She manages between laughter.

“But, it’s not like they’re going to see me,” Hoseok persists, his eyes knitting together angrily.

“We know, it’s just. Your voice is better suited for that type,” Jiho tries but Hoseok just stares him.

He was hoping this wasn’t going to happen. Being a uke meant making a whole lot of lewd noises and saying an array of embarrassing things. It didn’t help that was he was uke through and through, the last thing he needed was indulging his fantasies in a studio booth with his brother.

“Once you meet your partner, you’ll understand why you’re the bottom,” she giggles as she tries to compose herself.

Somehow that further worries Hoseok. He remains in the boardroom as Jiho sees her out. He had almost forgotten about the other person. Now it was another brick to add to the pile sitting on the chest. Things were going to be so weird, sharing a space like that.

Deciding to linger around, the sun has almost set when his brother calls it a day. Hurriedly, they walk to the station in silence. Hoseok figures Jiho must be tired, so he doesn’t strike up any conversation. Weaving imbetween the crowd, they squeeze into the over populated carriage. The station is a twenty-minute bus ride from their stop. From there, they take a cool walk. It’s the same path he takes to school. As far back as Hoseok can remember, this street has looked the same. The same streetlights still don’t work, the same gates still rusted. It was a quaint neighbourhood where everyone seemed to stay the same till they left or died.

“Neh, are you really okay?” Jiho asks uncertainly.

Hoseok wonders if this is why he was being so quiet,”Yeah, I told you, I’ll do it.”

“That doesn’t answer my questi-"

“I’m okay Hyung,” Hoseok musters a smile.

It seems to lighten the mood and Jiho’s eyes instantly clear up.

“Why were you late today anyway?” he asks randomly.

“Nothing really. Just busy getting friendzoned by my crush, that’s all,” there’s no burn in his words, he isn’t even angry.

Jiho laughs obnoxiously,”And Jiwoo says you’re like me. I would never get friendzoned.”

Hoseok just cackles at his brother’s absurdly large ego. _Yep, they were nothing alike_.

“You know, that lady never did introduce herself,” Hoseok thinks out loud.

“That would be boss lady Son Se young,” he almost snickers.

Hoseok recognises the name but can’t pinpoint from where but the options were limited to begin with,”Girlfriend?”

“Bingo,”Jiho grins,” my very pretty very married ex-girlfriend that funds my endeavours with her husband’s money.”

“At least show some shame,” Hoseok deadpans.

Jiho sticks out his tongue as his eyes crinkle with laughter.

_They definitely weren’t anything alike._


	4. iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Hoseok is a natural uke and is confused about his feelings for Yifan.

Morning comes by too quickly, much sooner than Hoseok would have liked it to. He’s never been one to sleep in but that doesn’t mean he plans on leaving the bed. He generally just lays around, fidgets with his phone or just zones out. He couldn’t afford that today. He needed to be in the studio and he imagined Jiho would be coming too. He should use the bathroom before the sloth gets up.

It kind of feels like a school day. He brushes his teeth, bathes, dresses, sets his hair, cleans his room and lastly does his make up. Thanks to his lack of melanin, Hoseok wears about two layers of sunblock that forces him to use a large amount of foundation to cover the shine. It’s usual, so he doesn’t moan anymore. Passing on the lip tint and eyeliner, he settles on a little blush. He doesn’t want to scream uke the minute he gets in there.

Half way through a repeated episode of Mushishi , he hears the shower.

Not bad, considering the usual time he gets up.

“That’s rare,” his mother points out from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Hoseok answers,”He’s coming with me to the studio.”

“Really,” she sounds happy, he can hear the smile,”My boys have gotten so big, just now I’ll be all alone in this house.”

“Don’t be so dramatic Ma. We wouldn’t do that,” He defends.

“You say that now but once you’ll get married, then it’s a different story. Then your wife will be the priority. From then on, I’ll be lucky if I get a phone call,” she feigns sadness.

Hoseok’s whole body is trembling with laughter as he gets up from the couch. His mother looks at him in amusement as he places the dish in the sink.

“Something funny?”

“You really think someone is going marry Jiho, really ma?” he cackles as she swats him with a dish cloth.  
-

 

Apparently, the Shin brothers had very different views on what ‘early' meant. Jiho had taken his time, just enough for Hoseok to change his clothes another three times. Finally, on their way to the studio, Hoseok‘s last ensemble consisted of narrow black jeans, a long grey vest underneath a white wide neck t-shirt. A pair black and white vans on his feet, he doesn’t dare wear any other jewellery other than a plain silver stud and fossil watch.

“You look like you’re going to the gym,” Jiho comments, his fingers coming tug at Hoseok’s slight curly tresses.

“And you look like a farmer,” Hoseok shoots back, eyeing his brother’s choice of a red plaid shirt and dark blue jeans.

They arrive at the studio around 8 am with Jiho yawning every fifteen minutes.

“It will be fine,” he encourages as he opens the door.

They enter a small waiting room. There’s a girl on the stairs, her tight dress clinging to her every curve. Hoseok can’t help but feel like it’s fake. She smiles at them brightly, her chestnut hair cascading around her painted face and Hoseok is hundred percent that her nose is fake or at least fifty percent of it is.

“Shin Jiho and Shin Hoseok, I presume?” she asks politely.

Jiho seems a little lost for words, so Hoseok takes over,”Yes, I'm shin Hoseok and-“

“I’m his elder brother, Shin Jiho,” He cuts in as he smiles like a fool.

In that moment, Hoseok feels infinite sympathy for Jiwoo.

“I’m Lee subin and I will be your tutor," She introduces herself as she turns her attention to Hoseok,” Follow me.”

“She’s cute,” Jiho whispers into Hoseok’s ears, who simply ignores him as they follow the bubbly tutor.

She leads them into another room with a little seating area, tables of weird technical equipment and recording room with a table and four chairs inside.

”I was thinking we could do it here, this way I show you cues and hands-on examples,” she talks fast but Hoseok has had enough experienced with xiao, so he catches on quickly.

Jiho on the other hand, seems a bit lost.

“That sounds good” Hoseok states as he slips into the recording room, his eyes travelling to the headsets on the table.

“So Seyoung tells me this your first time,”

“Yeah,” Hoseok answers nervously.

“Don’t worry, once you get the hang of it, it will be okay,” She advises as she motions for him sit down.

Digging into her purse, she retrieves a thin booklet,”Just some stuff I used when I started off.”

Hoseok wordlessly accepts the booklet, his eyes skimming over the first page. The lower he goes, the wider his eyes become and presses his mouth closed.

“Just some vocab you might need to use,” she says casually.

Jiho, now opposite Hoseok and next to Subin, leans over to look at the page but Hoseok snatches the page out of view.

His eyes narrowing as Jiho leans back into his seat, his hands up in mock surrender.

Returning his attention back to the page, Hoseok swallows thickly.

He repeats the words in his mind and he instantly starts to blush.

Omg, what did I do?

“I’ll start,” She offers, her voice becoming huskier,”Oppa, you’re cock is so big.”

Hoseok’s mouth dries up but it’s nothing compared to his brother’s jaw dropping, a blush blooming on his cheeks.

Subin seems unperturbed, her low eyes mimicking the lusting voice,”Your turn.”

Huh, ”Mine?” Hoseok asks dumbly.

“Of course silly. It's better to jump right in, push aside the nerves. Once overcome the initial hurdle, everything will come along,” she answers in her usual cherry voice.

Hoseok head snaps towards his brother who just looks at him with owl eye.

Jiho is on his feet before Hoseok even says it,”Leave.”

“I’m gone,” he mutters as he rushes out.

Hoseok returns his attention back to Subin, a tight smile on his face,”I have to say that?”

“Yep,” she nods,” Seyoung says your character is submissive, naïve even. It’s key that your immaturity shows in your choice of words. Crude terms would most likely be used,”

It makes sense, hoseok is impressed with the thought that goes into it but it doesn’t make it easier.

“Uh okay,” he smiles nervously,”Oppa.”

It comes out as an almost squeal and he cringes,”Redo.”

“No.” Subin stares at him, her palms flat on the table,”That was perfect.”

Huh, Hoseok takes it as a cue to continue,” Oppa, your .. cock is too big,” He rushes through.

Omg, he felt like dying in that moment. His whole face felt like it was on fire, his voice escaping him, leaving him slightly breathless.

Subin looks pleased, she smiles at him proudly,”You’re a natural.”

Hoseok laughs at that but she doesn’t join, so it wasn’t a joke.

“I’m serious, you flustered tone is perfect but don’t rush. Other than that, just work on feeling more comfortable. You don’t want to lose your voice halfway through the session,” she explains.

Hoseok appreciates it,”I understand.”

“Also drink water and play nice. I’m not saying you'll have to be best friends but at least be cordial with your partner. It makes things easier.” She adds.

That makes sense.

“So wanna continue with the words,” she wiggles her eyebrows.

Reluctantly, Hoseok agrees.

Oh, it was going to be a long day.

After another few hours of saying embarrassing things, Subin lets him voice a whole dialogue. There’s time allocation between each line and he has maintained his consistency. Hoseok didn’t think it would be an easy job but admittedly, he hadn’t seen past the embarrassing aspect.

They go over cues he might receive form the producer, also how close he should stay to the mic.

She throws him some perverted lines and he mimics it back, the best he can. It barely even feels weird anymore but another problem arise.

“Do I suck it like this hyung?” she whines.

Hoseok was going to imitate without but he stops,”But my lisp.”

He had completely forgotten about that.

“Huh, lets hear it,” she walks towards him in concerned.

He glances away embarrassed,” My lisp is pretty strong.”

It was, he had been teased mercilessly in his younger day.

“Let me hear it,” she pushes it.

“Do I tsuck it” he groans,”I can’t.”

“Try again, this time let your tongue peek out just a little,” she recommends.

He does as instructed but it sounds the same to him but Subin seems pleased.

“It’ll be fine, it sounds cute but make sure to let your tongue peek out,” she smiles assuring but he isn't convinced,”You’ll see when you listen to the recoding, it’s not bad Hoseok. Don’t stress.”

Hoseok excelled in stressing. He remains in that space till Subin offers to take him out for coffee. He accepts, only because he enjoyed her mentorship. She proved to be much more than a cherry voice, she was genuinely nice. You don’t get to see that often.

They opt for starbucks as it was close by. Subin shares all kinds of stories that have Hsoeok ‘s cheeks hurting from all the laughing. She’s even dated some of her partners. Hoseok can understand why, she really gets into it. From the corner eye, Hoseok thinks it’s his imagination but when he turns, he immediately zooms in on Yifan’s tall figure. The basket ball’s eyes magnetically gravitate towards Hoseok and they lock gazes. There’s a girl clinging onto him, her head resting on his shoulder. It’s picturesque, Yifan blushes as he smiles and Hoseok returns it. He’s almost disappointed, he expected Yifan’s girlfriend to be a bombshell but this chick looked pretty dull.

He isn’t angry, jealous maybe but not angry. Not really of his girlfriend but just in general.

“You know them?” Subin enquires.

“Yeah,” Hoseok blinks as he breaks eye contact,”From school.”

“Ooh,” she purs,” Come here.”

“Huh,” Hoseok just looks at her as she scoots closer, her hand coming to rest on his knee.

“Why?” he stutters.

“You like her don’t you?” she asks seriously.

“No,” Hoseok raises his voice a bit.

He almost finds that offensive.He would never be  
attractive to someone so basic.

“I can see it,” she pushes as she leans onto his shoulder, her hair coming to tickle his cheek.

Hoseok doesn’t know where to look but he feels Yifan’s eyes on him, so he definitely doesn’t look that way.  
-

That night, all Hoseok can think about is how transparent he had been. She understood just by the look on his face. That was dangerous. He can’t risk being so readable, it was too risky. He can’t chance it. He needed to shield himself better.

Thoughts going back to Yifan, he was dumb but cute and Hoseok wasn’t highly invested in him. He wasn’t invested in anyone. So why did he look that way, how did his face communicate that to someone else when he himself didn’t even feel it.  
-

 

The first half of Sunday is spent in pyjamas, the second half in the arcade room with Akise and Xiao.

They tire through three rounds of DDR on Xiao’s request and Hoseok finds some nice settings to take out some pictures. With the new found occupation, he hasn’t really updated his sns.

“Was it fun?” Xiao finally asks as she tries her hand at the toy crane machine.

“Tonnes,” Hoseok replies drily.

“Seriously though,” Akise pushes.

There's a light blush on his cheeks,”I’ll tell you guys at school .. Wow, you really suck at this.”

Xiao scowls at him, “I was almost there.”

“Sure you were,” Akise snickers,”let’s go eat.”

After a highly unnutritious meal from McDonalds, the trio makes their way to the subway. Xiao, now on a new mission, tries her hand at every claw machine they come across and fails miserably. By the fifth one, Akise doesn’t even offer any sarcastic comment.

They split and Hoseok returns home around six pm. Jiho is asleep as expected. He had messaged Hoseok saying he was going out with Jiwoo and the guys. That was code for we’re going to drink till we passed out.

Hoseok and his mother eat dinner together.

“So how was it yesterday?” he knew it was only about time till she asked.

“It was fine ma but let’s not talk about that. ..It’s weird.” He says between bites.

She chuckles her eyes crinkling up,” If you say so. I won’t push.”

She sticks to her word and the topic doesn’t arise for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uke- the bottom, generally smaller, with longer hair and larger eyes. (omega)  
> seme-the top, generally taller and broader with short hair and smaller eyes. (alpha)  
> Seke- can go both ways, appearance vary. (Beta)
> 
> not really a rule but more so than often, it just happens like this.


	5. iv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one you've been waiting for.

Today, Hoseok indulges himself in a little more than his regular amount of makeup. He just feels slightly more enthusiastic about the day. Probably because the dread of the whole voice acting has passed and seeing Yifan with his girlfriend made him understand what he was feeling.

He was disappointed and jealous. Jealous because he didn’t have anyone, disappointed because he doubts anyone would want him the way he was. Maybe he would have the chance with someone if he was more forthcoming with his sexual preference but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

That could wait.  
-

_Later at school_

Hoseok brushes off the unnecessary extra attention, something he’s had a difficult time with before now. The second break comes and Akise voices just how proud he is, making Hoseok rolls his eyes. He's quite proud of himself, to be honest.

Xiao had requested their assistance on the upcoming sports day and the two abandon their usual spot in favour of the student council room. The last place they would like to be, considering both of them had enough run-ins with the code of conduct.

She spots them immediately and rushes over. The room is overcrowded and each person turns to look at them. Akise just smiles in amusement and Hoseok tries to look polite.

“I was waiting for you guys," Xiao beams, Okay the meeting can begin.”

Hoseok takes a seat next Xiao. He legit has no idea what he was doing here but oh well. She goes about explaining the mundane, the sponsors and time limits and then she gets to what she loved the most.

“There will be two main events,” She announces.

Kihyun, the council president, immediately looks alarmed but Xiao pays him no mind.

“So the first main event will be split between seniors and juniors. Juniors will split into three teams and will compete against in each other, same for the seniors. So two set of winners that will each get a medal and coupon from cocoa,” She pauses but everyone just stares and Hoseok can’t help but smile.

Xiao obviously doesn’t let the lack of enthusiasm effect her,” Okay next event is the exciting one. The grand finale is the battle of the athletes. Each sports team will nominate a seven-player team that will go against the team from another sport. Six teams will be lead into battle by their respective captains. So Nam Woohyun for the soccer team, Yoon Bora for the volley team, Son Hyunwoo for the swimming team, Wu Yifan for the basketball team, Kang Seulgi for the tennis team and Choi Moonbyul for the track team.”

That more or less pleases everybody and there's chatter of excitement. Hoseok leans forward, peering closer in search of Yifan and eventually spots him in the furthermost corner. He looks annoyed but Hoseok knows that’s the look he has when he doesn’t know what to do.

“Okay, so that’s that. I know it’s early and it is our final year and we don’t have time to waste. So we don’t want to put too much stress on the student council, so the responsibility will be branched out,” Xiao smiles but Hoseok knows its fake and directed straight at Kihyun, who just scoffs,”So I will be handling the first event and the second one will be monitored by my helpers, Hoseok ad Akise.”

_the fuck._

Akise cranes his neck, his eyes narrowing as he and Hoseok exchange gazes. Hoseok just shrugs, he has no idea what she's talking about.

“So if any team captains need any info, you can ask these two but after tomorrow. But rather ask Hoseok, he’s the nicer one.”

Hoseok almost laughs at that, Akise glaring at the Chinese school girl.

“Meeting dismissed,” she announces, offering a blinding smile.

The majority of the students head straight to the door but few linger back. Yifan soon breaks away and comes to Hoseok’s side.

“Hey,” he greets awkwardly.

Hoseok doesn’t understand this child,”Hello Yifan.”

“So how was your weekend?” he asks.

Oh, Hoseok knows what’s this about,”I’m not dating her. She works with my brother. She just decided it was fun because I told her that I know you from school.”

Yifan almost looks relieved,”Oh, really. Like not that I don’t think you can score a chick like that, I'm sure you scored better but I’ve never heard you mention girls."

Hoseok smirks,”I don’t kiss and tell Yifan.”

He looks surprised, his eyebrows raising,” Should have known. You speak to any of the captains?”

“Nope, only Seulgi,” Hoseok answers.

“Let me introduce you,” Yifan offers as he gets up.

Hoseok follows him to the random group. Seulgi gives him a hug immediately as the rest smile politely. Hoseok zooms in on the one with tan skin and broad shoulders.

“Son Hyunwoo,” he introduces himself but Hoseok is too busy appreciating the glow of skin to really pay attention,”Captain of the swim team.”

_That explains the broad shoulders._

“I’m Bora,” the petite female intervenes his perving,”Captain of volleyball.”

Woohyun is up next and Hoseok just nods along, he already knew of the popular soccer captain.Lastly is Moonbyul and Hoseok knows this going to be amusing.

“Shin Hoseok, nice to meet you,” he returns their introduction.

“Neh Hoseok, is your friend really that scary?” Bora asks innocently.

“Not really,” Hoseok chuckles,”Xiao is just scared of him.”

“He looks pretty mean,” Woohyun comments.

“He’s not, you’ll see for yourself,” Hoseok defends, a smile still plastered on his face.

Akise really did leave a lasting impression on people.

He spends some more time chatting with them, using it as an excuse to skip class. Finally, they part ways and Hoseok joins up with Akise.

“Traitor,” his friend scowls as Hoseok grins.

The remainder of the school fly by. He’s in English, being distracted by the greek god when he feels the light buzz of his phone.

-

After the end of the lesson, Hoseok opens his phone to see a text from Jiho.

Come by the studio, your first job is confirmed.

Hoseok feels his breath quicken, a nervous lump in his throat. This day had to come sometime.

“Karma hit you up so fast?”Akise asks smugly as they make their way out of school.

Hoseok just rolls his eyes,” Karma ain't coming around just because I ditched you for one class.”

“You mean ditched me for one class, so you can ogle the basketball captain,” Akise replies.

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow,” Oh, I didn't tell you. He has a girlfriend.”

Akise looks at him unsure,”So,”

“Not like that, we’re friends,” Hoseok states.

“Too nice, way too nice. Then what was that dreamy look in your eye when you were busy being friends over there ?” Akise notices things.

“I have no idea what you talking about,” Hoseok lied.

“Yes you do,” Akise shoots back.

“So, I do,” Hoseok shrugs,” doesn’t mean I’m going to share.”

It was too early for that. He only spent about half an hour eyeing the swimming captain. Hoseok had to admit, he didn’t quite think Hyunwoo was his type but the swimmer’s nature surprisingly intrigued him. It wasn't on par with what he felt for Yifan. Hoseok admired Yifan’s fine aesthetics but Hyunwoo intrigued him. He looked forward to being a part of this whole sports day thing.

Akise and Xiao offer to walk him to the studio, as he looked like he was upon a meltdown but Hoseok had refused. He had to deal with this himself.

-

He gets there in no time. Puffing out his chest, he swallows whatever doubts that lingered in the air and shuffled through the door. His brother looks up expectantly from you.

“You’re late,” a stranger says.

“I am?” Hoseok says unsure.

“Hoseok, this is Suga,” Jiho gestures over to the stranger,” He will be the producer for most of your work.”

“Yeah, Subin only has praise for you. On her recommendation, they’ve put you down for multiple personalities,” Suga says casually, as he pages through a booklet.

“Oh, My apologies for being late but I really did come here straight after school,” Hoseok bows.

Suga waves him off,” it’s cool. I just said that because your partner wears the same uniform as you and he was here fifteen minutes before you.”

“Huh” Hoseok almost blanches,”He’s from my school.”

“Yeah,” Kidoh confirms as Jiho looks at him sympathetically.

_Swallow it,_

Inhaling deeply, Hoseok composes himself,”Shall we.”

“Yeah,” Suga gets up,” Let me introduce you.”

It’s the same path he took with Subin.

Hoseok is barely in the room when Suga starts talking again, ”Shin Hoseok, meet,”

Hoseok musters a smile but his lower jaw doesn’t cooperate, instead it falls slack as Hoseok freezes.

Suga’s words confirming that it wasn’t a hallucination,”Son Hyunwoo.”

He can feel his chest tighten, his mouth dries up as he stares at the swimmer like a fish. Hyunwoo smiles at the table bashfully, the tips of his ears burning.

“Hey,” he offers.

Hoseok’s pulls his jaw up, licking his dry lips before he answers,”Hey.”

Suga smiles quietly at the scene,” Your’ll know each other, that’s good. Makes things easier.”

“Hello boys,” a female voice enters the space. They turn to look at the petite blonde with a pixie cut.

“My name is Wendy and I'll be helping with directing,” She smiles as she gestures for Hoseok to sit.

He does,”Shin Hoseok.”

Wendy seems not to notice the awkwardness but Hoseok can taste it on his tongue. Hyunwoo avoids his gaze no matter what. Which is absolutely adorable, considering he’s twice the size of Hoseok. If Yifan was a giant puppy, the Hyunwoo was a giant teddy bear or maybe juts a bear. He just looked so warm and cuddly, despite the lack of emotion displayed on his face.

“So, here’s your scripts,” Hoseok hears Wendy explaining as she slides the pages to both of them.

“It’s a Japanese title Hidoku Shinaide,” she explains,”Basically Hoseok you’re a bookworm that's going to lose your scholarship if you get low marks on the next test. Hyunwoo is the brash playboy that catches you cheating and promises not to report you if you give into his demands. Highly sexual demands.”

Hoseok was prepared for this, or so he tells himself. He didn’t factor in Hyunwoo being his partner. That part flipped the whole thing around.

Hyunwoo doesn’t seem affected anymore, he’s nodding as he listens closely.

Hoseok decides he should do the same, there was a lot riding on this. His brother’s rep was on the line as well.

Throwing away any and all sense of shame and pride, Hoseok peers closely at Wendy as he listens intently.

He had read Hidoku shinaide but he couldn’t say that. So he tries to maintain interest as she goes into details. His character was a wuss and slightly annoying but Hyunwoo’s character was worlds apart from him. Maya, the seme, was brash and foul-mouthed. Hoseok can’t imagine Hyunwoo the gentle giant saying anything vulgar.  
At least it isn’t rape. Blackmail, almost rape but not exactly rape.  
Hyunwoo seems surprising unperturbed by the nature of the scene.

“We’re not recording anything official today. Being your first time, Hoseok, I wanted you to meet your partner in hopes you would feel more comfortable,” she says thoughtfully.

“Wait, you did this before?” Hoseok turns to Hyunwoo.

The swimmer just nods as he stares into the page.

“Yep, Hyunwoo’s father is the main funder of this project,” Wendy adds.

“My mother insisted,” Hyunwoo mumbles, obviously still very uncomfortable with the situation.

“I see,”Hoseok tries to end the awkward exchange.

“ So, I sent your'll the links. Read the manga, run through your scripts and recording will start tomorrow but more importantly, smooth out any queries you’ll have with each other now. Go out, have a chat,” She says as she raises to her feet,”Get over the embarrassment, your’ll are in this together. Oh, Hoseok, Jiho said he'll see you at home.”

With that, Wendy leaves and takes Suga with her, leaving Hoseok with Hyunwoo.

Hoseok always thought he was good at socialising. He had learnt early in life that people will be happy if you tell them what they want to hear. So for the most part, he doesn’t share his true opinions. Unless he gets close, then he can't seem to not share his true opinion. He pities his friends. It’s like all the unsaid emotions tumble out as soon as he’s with them. None the less, he tries to do good, hurt few and help whenever he can. It was just they way he was raised.  
His approach to people generally proves fruitful, or so he thought but he had no clue on how to engage Hyunwoo. Hours ago, they were chatting and smiling. Now, the swimmer looks like he might melt if they make eye contact.

“Hoseok,” Hyunwoo’s deep voice breaks his musing and Hoseok understands why he’s the seme,”Are you hungry?”

He wasn’t,”Yeah I am.”

“I know a ramyun place near by-“

“That’s perfect,” Hoseok says a bit too quickly, he leans back as he lowers his voice,”I mean that sounds good. I like ramyun.”

Hyunwoo open eyes turn into little crescents as he smiles.

The air is still awkward but Hoseok thinks its just how Hyunwoo is. Even at school, he didn’t participate in the conversation as much but he’s eyes would sparkle. Hoseok enjoyed the sight. He doesn’t indulge himself too much, just casual glancing at the taller.  
Hyunwoo leads the way, his blazer stuffed into his bag, revealing the tight white shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. He had seen Hyunwoo before but he generally chilled with the fuck boys. Hoseok wasn’t too fond of his choice of friends but that wasn’t reason enough to pass up such a beautiful creature. How could he have not noticed Hyunwoo earlier?

“We’re almost there,” Hyunwoo says, feel Hoseok’s unease.

It’s the first thing he’s said since they left the studio.

“You’re a lot more perceptive than you come across,” Hoseok notes.

Hyunwoo looks at him blankly,”What’s that suppose to mean.”

“It means, it's easy to think you’re ignoring or zoning out but yet you instantly picked up on the shift in the atmosphere but you’re wrong. I wasn’t getting suspicious about you taking me to an unknown location.” Hoseok speaks freely, he did mention the day started off good. He was determined to get back there.

Hyunwoo looks amused,”Then what’s bothering you?”

Hoseok laughs as he looks at the sky,”That is the question. I wonder,”

Hyunwoo doesn’t push. Hoseok knows, from experience, that the perfect way to push is to not push at all.

It was perplexing, the comfort he felt with the other. It was like his awkwardness was cosy, Hoseok felt right at home. He thinks maybe this why people openly share with him. Hyunwoo and he are kind of alike, they don’t reveal their cards easily. Hyunwoo, too, isn’t forthcoming with his thoughts and somehow Hoseok interprets that as the swimmer no being judgmental. It makes him want to talk more but he’s scared he might slip up, Hyunwoo might be the first person he’s met that had this effect on him and they barely know each other.

Luckily for Hyunwoo, he doesn’t have the most inviting feature. His eyes are small, his lips are full and his cheeks swell into little dumplings when he genuinely smiles. The smile graces his features rarely, which leaves him looking internally like a lost child. That alone stirs people away. Hoseok, on the other hand, seems to offer this eternal promise of comfort. At some point of your childhood, you realise you don’t have o be nice to everyone but Hoseok never got the gist that. He just kept trying and trying and people just continue to gravitate.

Because Hoseok gives them what they want.

The thing is, he doesn’t know what Hyunwoo wants. Actually, for once, he wants to talk about himself. It’s not often he shares himself other than his time. People don’t want you to reply, they just want you to listen, they just want to talk.

Hyunwoo smiles at him shyly, his eyes glossy with interest.

Hyunwoo looks at him like he wants to listen to whatever Hoseok has to say and Hoseok can’t deny that he wants to give in. So he does, just a little.

“Neh, do I really sound like a uke?” Hoseok randomly ponders out loud.

Hyunwoo chuckles, his eyes disappearing,”Only when you get excited.”

“Damn it,” Hoseok pouts,”You know I was really terrified about this whole thing.”

“About the erotic part or about the gay part?” He questions.

“Both,” Hoseok admits,”they pose their own problems. The words are weird and being the feminine one makes it all the more difficult. Like no guy is ever going to say the words I say. Plus, I'm super nervous about all the sounds that will be expected from me. By any chance, is there any audio effects for that?”

Hoseok looks so hopeful, Hyunwoo can't bring himself to laugh,”Sadly no.”

“Fuck,” Hoseok curses as they turn the corner.

Hyunwoo wordlessly takes the lead, Hoseok following him into a narrow alley and then through a wooden door. The door chimes as they enter the small restaurant.It’s basic but old.Counters, tables and chairs are all made out of the rich brown wooden. The colour is worn but it’s profound against the light wooden floors. It seems to be a two storey place, maybe even three because Hoseok can feel the draft coming through the second level.

They order, Hoseok copying Hyunwoo’s rather odd request.

“It sounds interesting,” Hoseok comments

They take a seat at a table against the wall. Hoseok fiddles with his cup of green tea, his finger running along the mud coloured clay cup.

“This place is really pretty,” He observes once again, this time looking over at one of the scrolls on the wall. His favourite one being the one with the ink illustration of a koi fish on it.

“You think,” Hyunwoo looks uncertain,”My mother says it’s dated.”

“Really, my mother would love this,” Hoseok replies, his eyes now on Hyunwoo,”It’s dated, just like her.”

Hoseok almost pats himself on the back when Hyunwoo laughs, the most adorable bunny teeth on display.

“Well, she’s my stepmother actually. She’s a lot younger than my dad, so this stuff is before her time,” He explains.

“I see,” Hoseok's eyes brighten up when the waiter comes over with their food.

The space between them is filled with the steam stemming from the smooth black bowels. The contents looks delicious, Hoseok moistens his lips. He’s so fixated on the food, he doesn’t notice Hyunwoo's dark eyes drinking him in.

Hoseok inhales the scent, his lips splitting into a bright grin as he looks up at Hyunwoo. The swimmer is staring right back at him, they stay like that for no more than five seconds, probably less but Hoseok fell so far down the damn well in that time, it might as well be a lifetime. Hyunwoo reaches over to offer him a pair of chopsticks.

His daze breaks and he clumsily accepts it.

Turning his attention back to the hot bowl of ramyun, he's glad his face is obscured when Hyunwoo talks,”You don’t have to worry too much. I’m not exactly a veteran but I'm experienced. I’ll take care of you.”

Just when Hoseok hit rock bottom, he starts digging a hole.


	6. v

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where Xiao is hyped and Hoseok has an internal break down.

Surprisingly, Jiho doesn’t ask for any details. Even their mother seems a bit too calm but Hoseok sees it plain as day. They’re filled to the brim, just waiting for him to slip up, so they can spill. He doesn’t, he chooses his words wisely and carries on like it’s a normal evening. A sly smile gracing his features every now and again, he knows they’re dying inside.

Plus, his mind is too preoccupied with thoughts of Hyunwoo. The swimmer was filled with contradictions. In the end, he concludes that it’s still too early. He looks forward to working with Hyunwoo. At first, it terrified him but he’s glad.

_I’ll take care of you._

Surely, Hyunwoo was just trying to reassure him in his own way. Still, that was a pretty interesting choice of words.

-

_Next day at school_

“No,” Hoseok smiles angelically.

“You can’t not tell us,” Akise insists.

“Yes I can,” Hoseok replies.

“Seokie,” Akise huffs like an annoyed toddler.

Who knew Akise could be so cute.

“Uhm,” Hoseok rests his index finger on his lips as he acts like he’s thinking,”No.”

“Bastard,” the other hisses.

Hoseok continues to smile, his eyes forming thin lines. Akise is about to curse again but Xiao comes bursting in.

For a while, all Akise and Hoseok can focus on is the fluttering long hair as the Chinese girl tries to catch her breath.

“How was... the .. that thing?” She manages.

“Okay,” Hoseok answers as Akise glares at him.

She’s eyes him suspiciously but she’s here for something else,” So I think we got the events finalised.”

“What events?” Akise asks.

“The sports events!”

“Oh,” the boys nod in unison.

Once Xiao is set on something, not much can deter her.

“So when you not busy, which is the majority of the time, head to the council room. I printed the details out left it there. Also, Hoseok, I emailed to you,” Xiao explains.

“Okay,” Hoseok adapts easily.

“How come you only emailed him?” Akise presses.

“Becuase you take like a week to read your mail, it's a waste,” she chirps as she leaves.

“Why are we friends with her?” Akise asks annoyed.

“I don’t think it was really our choice,” Hoseok replies as he sifts through his mail.

He has tonnes of unread messages, most from online stores and few from an online journal he intended on started. He signed up and just never got around to doing anything. Xiao’s mail comes with two attachments. One outlining the activities for the general sports and the next for the athlete competition or in Xiao's words, The battle royale. She really does have too much time on her hands.

Hoseok quickly realises she was very much inspired by the amazing race. Very very much so.

_ Battle royale battle of the athletes that have nothing to do athletics _

_1 Take your time - spoon and egg - last to complete will be eliminated._  
_2 off luck - participants have a bag of keys and three locks to unlock but only one key can leave the bag at a time. - while other team members choose who to target with a water gun. last to complete will be eliminated._  
_3 steel nerves - hulla hoop, the participant must 'hulla' for 30 seconds. last to complete will be eliminated._

_Final three_

_4 straight face - presented with a variation of shooter glasses, the participant must select three and drink it with a straight face. first to cave is eliminated._  
_5 egg roulette- whoever gets the raw egg will go into the last battle with one less player._

_6 final round, paintball_

“That hardcore?” Akise interrupts.

Hoseok raises an eyebrow,” She has way way way too much time on her hands. Look at this,”

He really can't formulate his amazement in words.

Akise takes the phone with interest, his dark eyes roughly skimming over the mail,” She even has tag lines for each of them. What the hell,”

“I know right but it does kinda sound fun. Like that fake wrestling on tv nowadays” Hoseok admits as he takes his phone back.

“I bet she's gonna commentate with a large ass megaphone,”

“Probably,” most definitely.  
-

  
Surprisingly, the rest of the day is uneventful. Somehow after yesterday, Hoseok expected some sort of paradigm shift but nah. The butterflies though, keep trying to claw their way up his throat and once again, zero attention is paid. By the time school ends, the butterflies have silently been put to rest with an ocean of unease taking their place. For the most part, Hoseok looks okay or at least he thinks so. He thanks the heavens above that he doesn’t cross Hyunwoo’s path.

He doesn’t wait for Xiao today, says goodbye to Akise and starts a light jog. His mind keeps telling him if he goes slower, he’ll get there later and therefore he can spend less time there. Of course, he doesn’t know if there’s actual time limit and plus, he doesn’t want to be rude.

Somehow, some way, when Hoseok arrives, Hyunwoo is already there.

How?

He offers Hoseok a small smile and Hoseok returns it. Wendy or Suga is nowhere to be seen. He assumes that they’re in the studio as Hoseok and Hyunwoo were in the waiting room. Awkwardly, he takes a seat next to the tan athlete, too nervous to strike up any conversation.

Hyunwoo senses it,”It’ll be fine,”

_I’ll take care of you._

Hoseok quickly nods, trying his best to shake off the memory.He’s too busy reprimanding himself to notice Wendy entering the room.

“Hey,” she greets,”Hoseok ah, come with me for a second. I want you to see a live recording,”

Hoseok hums in response as he follows her into the recording room. Suga is at the counter with a pair of earphone’s on.There’s a light buzz int the air, probably from the recording equipment.

Through the glass, Hoseok can see older women with a neat chestnut coloured bob and a pin straight fringe. She must be around her forties but her clothes suggest twenties. Wendy motions him to follow her into the room.

“Little Shin huh?” she says when she takes off her earphones.

Wendy giggles,” Yep that’s him.”

Once again, Hoseok does the only thing he knows,”Shin Hoseok, nice to meet you.”

He bows politely.

“It's fine it's fine,” She waves him off,”My name is Minami Okuda. I’m actually a translator. I'm quite familiar with that devilish brother of yours.So, I see he strung you into the profession too.”

“Too?”

“AH, he too convinced me to give it a try.I was in need of some cash back then,” She explains.

“Yeah, he really is devilish,” Hoseok concludes.

Both women break out in a roar of laughter.

“Sit sit,” Wendy commands,”Okuda is recording for a game, so there isn’t a need for a partner.”

Hoseok does as he told, leaving his bag to rest against the side of the table.

“Shall we cut to the chase,” Okuda smiles at him, her wrinkles becoming prominent.

“Yep,” Wendy motions to Suga as she offers Hoseok a pair of earphones and exits the booth.

He slips them on gently, eyes not sure where to rest.

Suga signals and Okuda picks up her script for safety.

Leaning into the mic, Hoseok can’t help but look at her. Her eyes go low as she breathes heavy, he can hear it in the earphones.

“Don’t touch me there, I’m embarrassed,” She moans into the mic.

Hoseok feels his whole body go rigid, his eyes snapping to the wood of the table.

“No no no, please no,” she whines and Hoseok has to hold himself back from running out of the room.

Okuda Minami, a grown woman, probably with children sounds like a high schooler. It makes him shudder. She continues and Hoseok almost loses it after every sentence. Her tone, the noises but then he makes the biggest mistake of looking up at her. To no one’s surprise, her eyes are sealed as she continues begging. Whatever she was recording for obviously had rape in it.

The visual is unsettling, an older woman sounding like a young girl is bad enough but an older woman sounding like a young girl getting sexual assaulted is even worst. He wants to go blind. By the end of the ordeal, Hoseok is oddly breathless.

He licks his dry lips as she bids him farewell. Once she leaves the room, Hoseok deflates into a big messy ball of goo. He can feel steam come of his ears, he’s so overwhelmed.

Suga takes notice and recruits Hyunwoo to calm Hoseok down.

“Hey,” he says gently as he enters.

Hoseok can’t manage any words, he just glances in the swimmer’s direction.

“It’s not that bad,” he assures, bad but not that bad.

Hoseok doesn’t reply, still not trusting.

“Hoseok ah,” Hyunwoo says his name like they’ve known each other forever,”I said I’d take care of you, didn’t I?”

“W-well yeah,” I just didn’t know what you meant by that.

“Then don’t worry. It’s your first day, take it as a trial run,” He continues.

“He’s right,” Wendy intervenes,”I’ll be here every step of the way. I might be strict but don’t let affect your confidence. Don’t take my words too harshly, okay?”

“Okay,” Hoseok nods.

“Good,” she smiles, tucking her hair behind her ears as she sits down,”Let's get started. There are other characters here but none that require chemistry. That’s why your’ll record together. Okay?”

Neither of them replies.

Hoseok busies himself with the script on hand till Suga tells them to get ready. The warm of the headphones just adds to the already painful heat of his ears.

The first scene has Hyunwoo’s character threatening to reveal Hoseok’s character secret.

Whatever Hoseok was feeling is overcome by an awestruck amazement.Hyunwoo’s whole demeanor changes as he almost leers at the mic when he speaks. He sounds so smug and it makes hoseok swallow hard.

Expectant eyes land on him and Hoseok just freezes. Wendy comes to his aid, her finger coming to rest upon his line. The truth is, Hoseok isn’t sure what his voice is going to do after hearing and see Hyunwoo in action. He’s been known for squeaking, the baritone of his voice slowly fading as he talks. Lilt, he voice was lilt and he couldn’t avoid it.

But he felt like was being interrogated. His attraction to Hyunwoo in character didn't help either. He was being confronted and he couldn't afford to slip up, so he steadies himself as he recites the line almost monotonous. He knows it was terrible and winces at the sound of his voice. He doesn’t dare look at Hyunwoo, too embarrassed and too shameless.

Wendy sighs,”Think of your character,”

His character was weak and being blackmailed into performing lewd acts. His character is at the mercy of this guy because of a secret that could get him kicked out of school.

But Hoseok has his own secrets and this isn’t the best place for him to lose balance. His actions feel like betrayal, feels like he’s exposing himself to them, to him. That couldn’t happen. Hyunwoo was in his school, these people knew his brother. Word would get around in a flash and then there was no going back.

He knew he was good, he knew how to handle people, how to protect himself but apathy wasn’t one of his strong points. He simply understood and that was enough. People merely saw a good looking face mirror. Both pleases them and he’s never felt threatened because he’s worked so hard on building himself up. How was he suppose to play a character that had completely let themselves down?

The minutes start to drag. Hyunwoo offers words of encouragement but then too, Hoseok dare look at him.

The moment he decides to swallow his pride and go for is the moment he speeds through the script like the flash. Once again winces at himself, feeling everybody's eyes on him.

He was fucking up.

“Hoseok ah,” Wendy says crossly,”You’re not even trying.”

Hoseok immediately shrinks in his seat and it’s Suga that comes to the rescue.  
His voice booms from through the speakers “That’s enough for today,”

Wendy looks like she doesn’t agree but Hoseok pouts like a lost puppy and Suga sends her a pleading look. Thankfully she caves. Huffing in annoyance, she presses a surprisingly warm hand on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“I told you not to take me too harshly,” she says concernedly.

“I know,”Hoseok replies, knowing damn well he was at fault.

“Hoseok, Subin really has faith in you. That’s why I was a bit forceful. I know you can do better but I need you to go home and spend some time getting to know your character. Once you sympathise with him, you will understand he’s point of view. It will make things easier,” She explains.

Hoseok tries not to be too enthusiastic about leaving but he really wants to escape this place. Unhurriedly, he gets his bag and is almost out the door when Suga speaks.  
“I’m letting you go cause it’s your first day on the job. Tomorrow, I’m going to be as unforgiving as Wendy,” He warns but Hoseok is warmed by the concerned undertones.

“Thank you,” he bows and slips out.


	7. vi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long one with a kitten,

Admittedly throughout this whole ordeal, he deliberately pays no mind to Hyunwoo’s presence. Something he can’t achieve once they’re outside because of the immense guilt he’s feeling. Hyunwoo was basically a sitting duck thanks to Hoseok’s multiple errors.

Timidly, he turns to the taller and bows,”My apologies.”

He’s not exactly sure what he was sorry for? Wasting Hyunwoo’s time? Refusing to swallow his pride?

“Hoseok,” Hyunwoo sounds gentle, almost like he’s talking to a child,”Are you really okay with this?”

Hoseok almost chokes on pity seeping through Hyunwoo. He curses internally, who was he to worry others. He needs to get his mind right and move forward.

“Yes, Hyunwoo. There won’t be a repeat of today. I’ll see you tomorrow,” He says smoothly, a smile on his face to counteract the coldness of his voice.

Quick turn on his heel, he walks away briskly, his eyes low in shame. He was failing, falling, -

There’s a tug on his bag and he peaks over his shoulder to find Hyunwoo’s much larger stature. How had he not sense the other’s presence is beyond him. Hyunwoo wasn’t the most graceful of people.

He doesn’t say anything, just glances down at Hyunwoo’s hand on his bag. The swimmer releases it almost immediately.

His dull eyes soften, just enough for Hoseok to lose his breath at the sight,”I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just worried.”

Hoseok can’t bring himself to hate the sensation he’s feeling, the way Hyunwoo‘s words rise in the air like bubbles. Hoseok can see his reflection in them.

“You didn’t,” Hoseok doesn't need Hyunwoo to know any of that,”I appreciate your concern. I’ll do better tomorrow.”

“How?” Hyunwoo asks blankly.

Huh, it seems to throw Hoseok for a loop,”Follow Wendy’s advice I suppose-"

“Let me help,” Hyunwoo interrupts.

You’ve done enough,”It’s okay, I’ll manage. I promise.”

“I want to,” He says firmly,”Not because I want to get this done faster but because I just want to. I said I would take care of you.”

“But you don’t have to,” Hoseok lets his thoughts slip.

“I know but I want to,” Hyunwoo says with no hesitance.

Hoseok never stood a chance,”Okay.”  
-

Hyunwoo suggests a café but Hoseok turns it down immediately.

Hyunwoo suggests a café but Hoseok turns it down immediately.

“You want to practise our eroge script in public,” Hoseok deadpans.

“Well that doesn’t leave us with a lot of options,” Hyunwoo replies,”Unless maybe you want to come over to my house.”

Hoseok almost trips, maybe a slight misstep. If Hyunwoo notices, he doesn’t say anything.

“There has to be somewhere else,” Hoseok says a bit too quickly, regretting almost immediately, ”Somewhere closer.”

Not that Hoseok knew where Hyunwoo lived.

“The karaoke place at the station?” Hyunwoo slows, turning to Hoseok.

Lips pursed,”Yeah that sounds good.”

 _Too good._  
-

Hoseok isn’t sure how to feel but a little voice inside his head keeps whispering.

  
‘its like a date.’

He shakes it off, the last thing he needs is to add to his nerves. Hyunwoo has returned to usual self, his dull and expression blank but handsome all the same. Hosek pays for the booth and Hyunwoo insists on buying them something to drink. Hoseok argues that they’re here on his account but the swimmer doesn’t budge.

  
While Hyunwoo has gone to buy the drinks, Hoseok takes the opportunity to text his mother. It was already late, a little after six, he doesn’t know just how long Hyunwoo would have. He doesn’t know what was greater, his fear of exposing himself or his guilt of wasting Hyunwoo’s time.

“Here,” Hyunwoo’s voice interrupts his musing.

Hoseok looks up to find a can of coke in the large hands. He accepts it with a thank you and opens it. He really needs the sugar in his system. Hyunwoo is having some sports drink and Hoseok can’t help but smile at that. The swimmer was just so masculine. A yawn slips and Hoseok places his can down, so he can stretch.

The booth is fairly simple, an L-shaped couch, grey walls, a large tv installed into the wall and small table with the karaoke equipment on it.

“Ready?” Hyunwoo asks gently.

There's a firm node,”Ready.”

“Practice makes perfect right, so let's practice,” the swimmer explains.

A slight blush dust Hoseok’s cheeks, he has to say such things to Hyunwoo when they’re all alone,”Okay.”

“Okay, I’ll go first,” Hyunwoo opens the script, his voice morphing back to the way it was in the studio,”Hey nemugasa take off your pants.”

_Definitely not a date._

Hoseok lips tremble a bit before he reacts, his voice coming out small,”No.”

That was supposed to be a yell, he was supposed to shocked or offended but no, Hoseok just sounded like a cornered animal.

He’s about to apologise but Hyunwoo continues,” I have evidence you know.”

Hoseok uses his script to shield himself like a child,”But you cheated too.”

“Actually, I have a tutor. So my marks have been decent. I just saw your lost and hopeless face. You're smart but a dumbass. I just thought to help you out. Do it how usually play with yourself. here” Hyunwoo continues smugly.

Hoseok tries to focus more on the words and he knows exactly where Hyunwoo’s character is referring to, he makes the mistake of looking at the swimmer. Hyunwoo’s cool gaze on him like an eagle waiting for his prey to slip up.

Hoseok just does that, his voice wavering as he redirects his gaze,”I’m scared.If I masturbate will he let me go,”

“That’s it,” Hyunwoo says and Hoseok looks at the script, he’s been hiding behind.

Hyunwoo’s hands comes to gently move the paper aside, a small smile on his lips,” Continue how you just spoke just now.”

Hoseok nods, not sure what he was referring to,”probably not.”

His voice comes out flat and steady, probably because he was in plain of Hyunwoo and needed to compose himself.

“Hoseok,” Hyunwoo speaks and Hoseok knows he fucked up again,”This is just a character. Stop looking embarrassed because I’m not looking at you when you speak, I’m looking at your character. You're free from the act, this isn’t you. This is nemugasa and I’m Maya.”

Hoseok looks at him expectantly, it makes sense enough. He hadn’t quite thought about it that way.

“No one is judging you Hoseok. It’s like your voice is a mask. Wendy, Suga nor me can see through it,” he adds.

Truth be told, Hoseok spends more time watching anime than he can afford. Thanks to Jiho, spending nights completing season after season was completely of the usual. He understands how they exaggerate their voices, emphasising certain sounds. He just hadn’t considered it due to the erotic content he’s been dealing with.

  
He inhales and exhales deeply, his eyes closed.

When he opens his eyes, Hyunwoo is smiling at him,”Okay, I’m ready,”

“Let's go for a part where you get more lines,” Hyunwoo suggests

Hoseok agrees and he leafs through the script before settling on a part that has his character saying more than a few words.

“I would like …to take a shower,” he mumbles in a hushed voice.

Hyunwoo smiles and that’s enough confirmation he needs,”Just pay attention to ellipses. You need to leave a reasonable gap there.”

_Okay._

“Did he think this through, I’m not his toy, after all,” Hoseok really does try to emulate Nemugasa’s emotions, making his voice weak but annoyed,”Was that too much? Too fake.”

 _It felt a bit too try hard_.

“Slightly but that’s normal. You'll get the hang of it. Now that you overworked it, you just need to tone it down. Much better than the flat tone you used before,”Hyunwoo laughs.

Hoseok’s lips twitch at the teasing, Hyunwoo’s laugh is something special,”Haha, very funny.”

“I’m playing but just think, add a bit of your own reaction to the mix,” He adds before taking a sip from his sports drink.

“Okay,” Hoseok beams, happy with his critique,” just one hour…does he really want to do THOSE things now?”

Hyunwoo smiles, his eyebrows shooting,” Much better but consistency is key.”

So they continue, sometimes Hyunwoo would reply as Maya and sometimes he just lets Hoseok continue. Just when Hoseok feels like he’s made progress, another problem arises.

“These sounds..are really non-descriptive.” He says as he finishes his coke.

There's just a whole lot of hnn, ahh and urgh. Whatever those means.

“Honestly as long as you make some sound, it's okay. These are just cues.”Hyunwoo helps.

Hoseok nods as a grin fights its way but he tries to keep his voice neutral,” Neh Hyunwoo, why don’t show me some examples.”

Hyunwoo doesn’t miss the teasing tone and smiles brightly in return,”I would but it wouldn’t be helpful. I’ve never been a uke or the bottom as they so.”

Hoseok deflates as Hyunwoo laughs obnoxiously.

_I should have known._

“So I guess the noises just have to be sexually pleasing?” he tries to rationalise.

“I suppose so, I can't help you other than offer you criticism,”

_Perfect._

Hoseok decides to dive right in and picks a random part to attempt. It's between and hnn and uhn. His failure exceeds his expectation because Hyunwoo just looks at him perplexed.

Hoseok’s hand comes up to signal to keep quiet and Hyunwoo purses his lips shut.

Another minute goes by and he manages something akin to the sound of a bird. This time Hyunwoo picks up and deep laughter rumbles at the back of his throat as tries to keep a straight face.

The smaller groans as he tosses his head back in frustration. His neck feels stiff and his new found contentment is now overshadowed by the latest challenge. He can never seem to catch a break. His gaze drifts to up to the multiple lights in the sleeping. They’ve been so occupied, neither of them having checked their phone and Hoseok can slowly feel sleep tugging at the base of his neck. He knows though, he'll be wide awake the minute he hits his bed.

Fate agrees and moments later, the screen lights up with the notice of their time being up. Hoseok is somewhat relieved but he’s distracted by the Hyunwoo’s eyebrows furrowing in confusement.

He looks cute and Hoseok smiles goofily at the sight.

“Something wrong?” he asks, interest piqued.

“Didn’t you book the room for three hours?” Hyunwoo aks.

“Yeah, i-“ o shit.

Both students reach for their phones, Hyunwoo unlocks his first and without a doubt, it was nine pm. Hoseok doesn’t get that far, his screen is bombarded with texts and miscalls.

“Woah,” he whistles as he texts his mother,”Time really flew by. I didn’t realise we spent so much time here.”

Hyunwoo senses his guilt,”But it was kind of fun. You have pretty amusing expression. Let's not mention those Pokemon noises you make.”

Hoseok doesn’t take offence, he understand Hyunwoo is trying to lessen the guilt,”I wasn’t that bad,”

Hyunwoo gives one last giggle before getting up,”We should get going. I hope your parents don’t mind.”

“Nah, it’s for work. So I don’t think so,” Hoseok replies as they leave the karaoke bar.

They step out into the cool night air, Hoseok is still slightly amazed at how late it is but the dark skies don’t lie. There’s still people around, a lot of people only finish off around this time. He feels odd being one of them.

The yearning of nicotine tugs at his sleeve once again as he waits for Hyunwoo to finish with his call.

He lets his eye wander to the sky, not a star in sight.

“You must be tired,” Hyunwoo speaks and Hoseok turns around to face him.

“Not really, I’m a bit of night owl.” He confesses.

“I see, then you want to get something to eat?” Hyunwoo asks as he smiles bashfully.

He must be starving,”You won’t get in trouble?”

“No, you?”

“Nope,” Hoseok says a bit too confidently, one of his family members were going to have a showdown with him in the morning.

“Where do you want to go?” Hyunwoo asks.

“You pick,” Hoseok replies.

“Wherever you want to go?” Hyunwoo says firmly.

_What are we? Lovers?_

“Just a side note, you can ask me at any time, in any seasons, at any place and I will always pick ramyun,”

Hyunwoo’splump lips curl as he speaks,”Ramyun it is.”

Hence once again, the duo ends up at the same restaurant, at the same table with the same meal. Hoseok is more comfortable this time and wastes no time devouring his favourite dish. All the while, Hyunwoo looks at him amused as he slurps his noodles. They finish twice the portion they had before in half the time. Leaving the place smiling like happy Buddhas.

“ I think I may have eaten too much,” Hoseok’s palms come to rest on his belly.

“Can't argue there,” Hyunwoo chuckles, Hoseok throwing a half-hearted glare.

“Neh,” Hoseok speaks as they enter the bridge,”Thanks for today, it took up almost your whole night.”

“It’s fine,” Hyunwoo says simply.

The pedestrian bridge is one Hoseok frequents with Xiao and Akise. It's not too high, which Hoseok is thankful for. They're just basically hovering above the flow of traffic but still in the mix of things.  
  
Hoseok falls behind, his steps slowing as he decides what to do. He needs to go home but he really needed to smoke. Hell, he needed one since he left the studio but Hyunwoo was with him. Hoseok wasn’t a fan of smoking with anyone other than Xiao and Akise. Probably nobody knew he smoked aside those two.

Hyunwoo peaks over his shoulder in concern and Hoseok lets his demon wins.

“Uh, you can go on ahead. I just got to do –“

Hyunwoo doesn’t let him complete,”It’s almost eleven, I’m not leaving you alone at this hours.”

Hoseok once again hates how enjoys the feeling Hyunwoo’s words make him feel. Not just the words but also the tone, the protectiveness.

“Okay, let's go,” Hoseok catches up but Hyunwoo doesn’t continue.

“What do you want to do, I can wait?” he tries but Hoseok shakes his head.

“It’s nothing serious,” Hoseok steps ahead of him.

“But it was enough for you to stall going home after almost five hours of work,” Hyunwoo could have a way with words when he wanted.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok says as he waits at the top of the stairs,” I just wanted to smoke.”

Hoseok almost regrets saying it, Hyunwoo eyes blink as they try to comprehend but he doesn’t reply. They continue to walk and Hoseok can’t help but feel like Hyunwoo was judging him. He didn’t know what to expect but he doubted Hyunwoo thought smoking was a valued reason to wait around for.

Hyunwoo wordlessly breaks away from the path and branches into a pathway, Hoseok follows unsure what else to do. It’s a narrow path lined with Large trees, little shrubs and cute stone benches. It’s dimly lit by the glow of the moon. Alas, it is still kind of creepy.

Hoseok is just about to enquire but Hyunwoo takes a seat and unlocks his phone. He shines the bright light at Hoseok before gesturing him to sit down.

“Smoke,” a gentle command.

Hoseok is too tired to sound polite, so he does as he’s told, even if smoking is the last thing he wants to do with Hyunwoo next to him on a bench under the moonlight. Puffing on the cigarette, he feels the tension in his shoulder melt away, a sigh released as he exhales the smoke. Luckily it’s too dark, he can feel Hyunwoo’s eyes on him but he doubts the swimmer can see much.

  
He’s halfway through the cigarette when his absurdly large ears pick up on something weird. His head snaps around at the sound, eyes squinting as he tries to peer through the dark. He has to remind himself that he’s not alone and thankfully Hyunwoo makes his presence known.

“Something wrong?”

“Did you hear that?” Hoseok says in a low whisper as he strains his hearing.

There's another weak cry and Hoseok almost shudders. It's not a very threatening cry but in dark of a garden path, Hoseok would prefer not hearing any noise.

“What?’ Hyunwoo asks lamely as Hoseok gets up, the remainder of the cigarette discarded.

Against his better judgement, he walks towards the area he thinks he hears the noise come from. His silent pleads for Hyunwoo to follow prove fruitful and the swimmer follows.

Hyunwoo switches on the torch on his phone and Hoseok almost jumps at the sudden flash. The light roams the area and suddenly there's a shriek. Hoseok reflexes kick in and he quickly steps back, his back slamming against Hyunwoo’s chest. Hyunwoo’s hands come to steady him and Hoseok looks up at the swimmer.

“s-sorry,” he stutters but Hyunwoo pays him no mind but looks passed him.

There's rustling and Hoseok gets on his feet hurriedly. Eyes dart about as he tries his best to discern the unknown noises.

“A cat?” Hoseok breaths, ignoring Hyunwoo’s hands still holding his elbow.

“That was a meow right?” Hoseok looks for Hyunwoo for assurance,” Right?”

He may not be able to see Hyunwoo’s facial expression through the blinding torch but he sure can sense it.

  
Abandoning Hyunwoo's hold, he steps toward the spot he was previously pursuing, the torch illuminating his path.There’s a moment of hesitance but when he does peer closely at the low shrub, he catches a shade of orange. There's a weak cry and Hoseok feels a lump in his throat as he digs into the shrub. The rough edges of the bush scratch his hands but he persists. His fingers brush against something soft and Hoseok beams.

_It was a cat._

Hyunwoo moves closer, the phone in one hand, he uses his other to try to part the thin branches. Slowly but gently, Hoseok’s callous hands retrieve the little kitten. He brings the small creature to his chest, pulling a sleeve over his hand to pet t. It’s shivering and he strokes it as it cries weakly.

Hyunwoo switches of the light and leads them towards the entrance. They walk to a little a shop window near the station. Hoseok still cradling the kitten. Hyunwoo buys a bottle of water, opening it to dip his finger inside. He nears Hoseok and the smaller reveals the little creature in his hands. The kitten is a mix of ginger and dark chestnut with tiny dark eyes. It’s no bigger than Hoseok’s hand and that alone has him worrying over the chance of it surviving.

Hyunwoo brings his wet finger to the kitten's mouth, a droplet coating the tip and kitten laps at gently. The sight is adorable, Hyunwoo’s seemingly expressionless face watching the creature with such intent. He repeats the act a few times and finally returns his attention to Hoseok. Hoseok can’t help but stare, Hyunwoo’s feature more prominent under the street light.

“You keeping it?” he asks.

Hoseok hadn’t gotten that far,”I want to.”

Hyunwoo straightens up and Hoseok brings the kitten to rest under his chin. It’s probably dirty but Hoseok couldn’t care, the way it cried made his heart ache.

He could only hold it closer,”I can’t. My brother is allergic.”

He knows his pouting, hell, there might even be tears in his eyes but he’s always been a sensitive person. From his young days, Hoseok had the tendency of following his heart until his heart wanted something he couldn’t have. Even then he cried easily, forgave easily. He cared too much and that was something he was never capable of avoiding. Just the thought of the little creature out there in the cold, starving.

“I’ll take it,” Hyunwoo says blankly.

Hoseok blinks his eyes in confusion, warm liquid running down his cheek.

_I really was crying._

“You can? Your parents won’t mind?” he asks hurriedly.

“They won’t.”

“You sure,” Hoseok persists, wide-eyed.

“Yeah, I’m sure Hoseok. Just don’t cry,” Hyunwoo assures sheepishly.

For once, Hoseok is glad he has no control over his tears.

He giggles, a finger coming to wipe the liquid from his cheek,”I’ll stop.”

They wait on the platform in silence, Hoseok busy petting the tiny creature careful. His eyes glued on the ginger cat, he misses the way Hyunwoo looks at them. A bashful smile forming on his full lips till Hoseok glances his way and he shakes his head.

“Yep, there’s my ride,” Hoseok says as he nuzzles the kitten.

“I’ll take him,”Hyunwoo takes his hands out of his pocket and steps closer.

Hoseok carefully cups the kitten and places it in Hyunwoo’s much larger hands. It cries cutely and Hoseok almost melts.

Hyunwoo forcefully pulls the creature away,”You don’t want to miss it.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok agree half-heartedly,” What about you?”

“I don’t live too far,” Hyunwoo answers sheepishly.

“Eh,” Hosek stops in mid step, whipping his head around to look at Hyunwoo,”Then why did you come?”

Hyunwoo just shrugs, shifting the creature in his hand as the crowd floods in,”Wanted to."

Simple as that.

Hoseok spares him another glance but decides to let it rest. He shuffles in, and peeks through the window. Hyunwoo’s warm smile sending him off. They start to move and only when out of sight does Hoseok understand the magnitude of today’s events.

He had tried and failed on his first day on the job, he must have spent three hours in a karaoke booth with the swim captain, he then had supper with the swim captain, sat on a stone bench under the moonlight with the same swim captain and lastly, they have a kitten. That’s a lot to happen in one day, way more than his usual but it was nice. Slouching in his seat, Hoseok lets his neck rests as he sifts through the events more randomly, caught up in little memories. He giggles randomly when he thinks about those weird noises he was trying or the way the little kitten had licked Hyunwoo’s fingers.

The highlight was spending time with Hyunwoo but the kitten was a close runner up. He was no fool, he knew a lot of little things Hyunwoo did could be interpreted very differently than just being a helpful colleague. Hoseok doesn’t know if he should think into it. Hyunwoo had shown him his much meeker vulnerable side. Maybe Hyunwoo just felt comfortable with him. It was the same with Yifan, That doesn’t mean there are feelings there.

But Hoseok really wishes there was because he’s never fallen this hard before.

By the time he reaches his station, he feels exhausted. He dreads looking at his phone, so he doesn’t. Dragging his feet, he thinks he might be hallucinating when he hears his name but it gets louder. Across the street, flailing his arms as he yells is Jiho. Hoseok instantly feels a pang of guilt.

“Hyung,” he manages,”What are doing here?”

Jiho looks at him sternly,”Do you have any idea how late it is?”

“I know,” Hoseok frowns,”Sorry.”

Jiho just sighs,”Come on, I borrowed Sungjae’s car.”

Hoseok silently gets into the old Toyota, his brother’s eyebrows knitted together as he drives. It’s short distance and Jiho drops Hoseok off before returning the car. Sungjae is one of Hoseok’s classmates that lived a few houses away. Despite being the same age, Sungjae was closer with Jiho.

Surprisingly, he’s mother is fast asleep. He was expecting some kind of lecture but he was just fine with this. He flops down on his bed, squishing his face into the duvet. He was so tired and so giddy and so guilty. Too many emotions and Hoseok just buckle under their weight.

There's a light knock on the door, Hoseok doesn’t reply and Jiho slips in.

“Hey,”Jiho says in a hushed tone.

Hoseok twists to look at him but eventually gets up and sits cross-legged,”Hyung.”

Jiho takes a seat on the edge of the bed, his brown hair poking out in multiple directions,”I phoned Wendy, she said you finished before six.”

He wasn’t accusing and Hoseok understood,”Did she mention how terrible I was?”

Jiho looks taken back a bit,”No but Hoseok it was your first d-"

“I was beyond terrible Hyung. We barely recorded two lines,” he says distressed.

“I see but you’ll get used to it, no?” Hoseok can only nod,”But Hoseok where were you.”

“The karaoke place at the station,” Hoseok sighs, cutting Jiho before he can react,”My partner, the guy from my school was helping me out. We were practising. We just finished up when we saw your messages. Then we thought we should grab something to eat before going home.”

Jiho’s face remains passive, like he’s not sure what to think but Hoseok was being truthful. Then again, he had lied on multiple occasions and got away with it.

“Fine, “ Jiho gives in,”Get some sleep.”

They exchange goodnights and Hoseok finds himself alone once again. The bed is calling but he’s spent the whole day in his uniform. Instead, he just peels off the clothes and crawls into the warmth of his blanket. Burrowing himself happily into the comfort of the bed, groaning when sees his phone flashing. He argues that he should ignore it, it only could be Xiao but he did mention he was too soft. Unlocking his phone, another message comes through from a number he’s not familiar with. There's a picture and Hoseok waits for it to load. The screen blinks and a picture of a ginger cat kitten wrapped in a pale pink towel stretches across the screen. Hoseok grins, his eyes glossy as he cooes at the picture.

_But how?_

The next message explains it all.

_Hey, I took your number from the sports festival pamphlet. Hope you don’t mind. See you tomorrow. Goodnight Hoseok._

Hoseok saves his number under Captain Hyunwoo. Once saved, his profile pic becomes accessible and Hoseok opens it to find a picture of the ginger kitten.

He must have changed it just now.

 _Hoseok_  
_It’s fine. I hope she or he doesn’t keep you up. I’m actually exhausted lol. Good night Hyunwoo. Thanks for today. I enjoyed your company._

_He enjoyed it maybe a little more than he should._


	8. vii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with a pillsbury tub of icing.

  
Once again, the new day comes too quickly. Hoseok lazily goes about his morning routine. Dragging his feet downstair, he almost jumps when his mother’s skinny finger come to tug his ears.

“Ow ow,” He cries as she drags him to the dining table, sitting on her command.

“You were out with Xiao and akise last night?’ she wastes no time.

Hoseok mouth opens and closes as he tries to formulate a full sentence,”No, ma.”

He doesn’t get far and at the end of the lecture, he leaves the house with no breakfast and spinning headache. His mother had the tendency to screech when she was angry. He rubs ears with the palm of his hand, trying to ease the sting to no avail.

He isn't surprised that he’s late but he is surprised to see Hyunwoo and Kris though.They’re also getting late slips and Hoseok offers a polite smile before bowing his head and enduring another lecture.

“Every morning I see the same faces. Especially you too,” Mr.lee eyes out Kris and Hyunwoo, the tallest from the group,”How many times must I warn your'll. Neither of you uses public transport, neither of you lives in another city. What’s the problem.”

Hoseok watches in amusement as the sports captains stare at the ground while mumbling apologies. It’s like too overgrown children got caught eating out of the cookie jar.

“Next time I’ll make your’ll do press up, understand?” the geyser huffs.

“Yes sir,” the group says in unison and continue to their class.

Hoseok sidles up to Hyunwoo, his smile somewhat too bright considering the morning he’s hand.

“How’s the kitten?’ he asks.

“Good morning to you too Hoseok,” Hyunwoo replies.

  
Hyunwoo deadpans but plays along,”Hello Hyunwoo, how are you Hyunwoo?”

It makes the swimmer smile,”I’m fine and you?”

Hoseok s about to reply when he realizes the giant is on the other side of Hyunwoo, peeking over Hyunwoo’s head in curiosity.

_How could I miss him?_

“Hey,” he smiles.

"What kitten?" he asks as he looks at Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo looks back at him,”Hoseok and I found a kitten last night. I decided to keep it.”

Kris looks mildly surprised,”I didn’t know the two of you were close.”

Neither Hyunwoo nor Hoseok knows how to answer that, so Hoseok lets his chatter divert the topic.

“Is it a he or a she?” he asks excitedly.

Yifan laughs at this,” It’s your'll are raising a Tamagotchi.”

“I gave up after killing my eighth one,” Hyunwoo comments.

“You sure you can take care of a cat?” Hoseok asked worriedly and Yifan laughs at Hyunwoo’s offended face.

Hyunwoo huffs and Hoseok comes to pat his shoulder playfully,”I was joking.”

“I don’t know actually, I didn’t look,” he says blankly.

“But you gave it a bath, it was in a towel in the picture you sent me,” Hoseok persists.

All the while Yifan watches, alternating from being amused and being confused.

In the end, Hoseok still doesn’t know the gender of the kitten but he did learn that Hyunwoo’s mother was a housewife. He insured Hoseok that she would be taking care of it while they were at school.

The day glides by, Hoseok just barely paying attention. He didn’t put any thought into his latest problem with the whole sound making.

English comes by and unknowingly Hoseok steps into an obstacle course.

“So you’ve known Hyunwoo for long?” Yifan asks, eyes on the textbook.

“Not really. I haven’t spoken to him till you introduced us,” Hoseok answers honestly.

“Oh,” Yifan seems to be dancing around the point he’s trying to make,”He’s unusually comfortable around you. Just thought it was weird.”

Hoseok knows what he’s getting at but what can he say. If he says they work together, Yifan will ask about the said job and how would Hoseok explain that. He was already having such a difficult time being selective with the truth.

“Guess we just clicked,” it was a weak excuse but Yifan just nods his head.

That was the end of that.

When the bell rings, he throws Akise a quick wave and kicks down. He’s determined to be at the studio before Hyunwoo. There are only a few students outside the gate, Hyunwoo being one of them.

Hoseok is slightly out of breath as Hyunwoo smiles at him,”I was waiting for you?”

_Huh_ ,”How are you so fast?”

He doesn’t answer just shrugs,” the driver’s waiting.”

Hoseok dumbly follows him to a black box shape Mercedes, eyes widening when Hyunwoo opens the door and gestures for him to get in.

“I could never find you in the rush,” He offers as he avoids Hoseok’s gaze.

Hoseok looks at him incredulously,”You have a driver?”

Hyunwoo just rolls his eyes,”You can walk if you want.”

Hoseok giggles, sassy Hyunwoo is funny. Anything other than blank Hyunwoo is amusing.

Hands up in surrender, Hoseok slides into the seat. Hyunwoo closes the door much to Hoseok’s confusement.

_Why didn’t he get in?_

Instead, he walks around and gets into the front passenger seat. The driver is an older man with short gray hair and watery eyes.

He looks to Hyunwoo,”New kid on the team?”

He sounds older than Hoseok made him out to be.

“Nah, he’s working with me,”Hyunwoo replies as he puts his seat belt on.

The driver doesn’t ask more, he starts the engine and they’re on their way.

Hoseok could die from the awkwardness he feels right now and Hyunwoo looks obliviously unaffected by the situation

Maybe he was thinking too much into it. Moistening his lips, he takes a look around. Each item catching his eye affirming what he already knew; Hyunwoo was rich.

They arrived at the studio minutes later and Hoseok understands why Hyunwoo was always early. Hoseok follows the swimmer behind as he wastes no time getting into the booth. Subin is already there with Suga.

“You ready?” Suga asks and Hoseok gives a firm nod.

“Break a leg,” He pats Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Where did we leave off?” Wendy ponders out loud.

“Can we start again?” He asks and she blinks in surprise but agrees.

Brushing aside the awkward drive, Hoseok smiles broadly at Hyunwoo.

The swimmer returns it with equal vigor,”You got this,”

_I got it._

Wendy looks at them with a quiet smile before glancing at Suga, who just shrugs.

Inhaling and exhaling, Hoseok's been through the script so many with Hyunwoo, he doesn’t really need it but better safe than sorry.

His first line feels foreign, this space was different. He barely recognizes himself but Hyunwoo nods gesture him to move on. Whether he likes it or not, There's a deep blush on his face, probably a shade lighter than what's on his character's face. Hyunwoo’s advice rings loud in his years and he delves deeper. Low eyes, hands placed on the seat, between his thighs as he leans follow to speak into the mic.

He doesn’t look at Wendy nor Suga, just Hyunwoo.

When they take a break, Hoseok is too out of breath to react to Wendy’s enthusiastic praise.

“Oh my my, when your brother phoned. I honestly thought the two of you went out galavanting,” Wendy pokes fun at him,”But instead your’ll were actually working. Hah, Little Shin is so diligent, isn’t Suga,”

Suga just throws her a look before looking at Hoseok,”Don’t take it to your head, we still have a long way to go.”

Hoseok smiles as he catches Hyunwoo's gaze and hopes his eyes is communicating just how grateful he is for the help.

Whether Hoseok admits or not, Wendy’s words prove to be true. The so-called mask he wears has him visualizing the scene. He just has to tweak it a bit but the visual is quite vivid.

So when they cue for the next scene to start and the actual ‘stuff’ happens. He feels himself shiver because he knows how Hyunwoo’s character looks but that’s not what he’s seeing.

“Just calm,” Wendy whispers, “use the same technique. The sounds don’t have to be on point.”

Yeah, Hoseok got that part, they just have to be shameless and arousing. Which only serves as a reminder of just how sad he’s non-existent sex life has been.

Hyunwoo speaks, smug dominating tone filling Hoseok’s ears. He knows what they’re up to, Hyunwoo’s character has handcuffed Hoseok's character to the fence and is forcing him to masturbate. He opens his mouth to speak but he can feel himself crawling back into his shell.

_Shit, can’t fuck up again._

Hyunwoo had sacrificed his evening to help him. He can’t always be so helpless and rely on others. He stares at Hyunwoo, who’s looking at him warmly but Hoseok can see him hovering above him with a shit-eating smirk on his face. That’s when he can no longer look at the swimmer. His eyes squeeze shut and something much more dangerous takes control. He feels Hyunwoo’s breath on his face, the humiliation of being exposed. The thought of Hyunwoo knowing his shameless secret, Hyunwoo using it to have his way with him.

Whatever sound leaves his mouth has him utterly shell shocked. He doesn’t have time to comprehend because Hyunwoo continues and Hoseok peeks one eye open before sealing it shut. He continues like that, the back of his lids serving as a screen for his imagination. Hyunwoo keeps it moving forward and Hoseok feels the saliva in mouth increasing as he pours out lewd sounds after lewd sounds.

He thanks the heaven’s above he’s by hearted this script but there’s gap in his memory and he looks down in panic. The light stings but he makes do.

The scene has moved on to the oral sex part.

Not that Hoseok can’t do it but he doubts anybody can without something in their mouth.

Wendy signals a break,”A little quick run down on what we might have missed before."

Hoseok notices Hyunwoo avoiding his gaze, he doesn’t get it. Suga peeks through the door, tossing something to Subin.

With an almost sympathetic smile, she offers Hoseok a tub of Pillsbury icing,”Hope you like sweet things,”

_Huh_ ,”Why?”Hoseok asks lamely.

She looks to Hyunwoo but he’s busy staring at the white walls,”We don’t have all that fancy equipment if there is any. So you use this on your finger,”

“Huh,”

Suga speaks through the com,”suck on the finger like it’s a dick and the icing is for lubrication.”

Uh, it takes some time to process but when t does, Hoseok's jaw hangs like a windcatcher in the wind. It starts making more and more sense and the more it does, the hotter Hoseok gets.

Still, he’s determined not to burden them anymore, so he swallows his uncertainty and unscrews the cap of the tub.

It doesn’t help that for once, Hyunwoo seems affected by the turn of events. The swimmer was usually so calm and collected.

Hoseok digs in his bag for a wet wipe and cleans his finger, he was a bit of a germ freak. Throwing Suga and Wendy one last longing look, He dips his finger into the cream.

“Just try a few times of record,” Wendy encourages him.

Bringing the cream covered finger to his lips, he licks the sweet substance light before sticking it into his mouth. Expected ears lay await but maybe five or eight seconds later, all they get is a hum.

Hoseok looks even more confused now staring at the clean finger,”I think I just ate all the cream.”

Wendy just deflates, a giggle slipping through Hyunwoo tight lips and Hoseok looks around confused.

“Suck on it,” Wendy commands,”the humming was good but the cream is there for the squelching effect.”

Hoseok gives it another try,”Nope, I just ate the icing again.”

“Suck on it,” Wendy repeats, trying to keep her calm.

Hoseok appreciates her attempt.

“I can’t,” It's just not something you do when you dip your finger in cream. All I want to do is eat it.” Hoseok tries to explaining.

Luckily, he’s more comfortable with them now. So he speaks instead on climbing back into his dark corner.

Hyunwoo finally speaks, eyes still on the wall,”Buy him ramyun, he makes some pretty interesting provocative noises when he eats that.”

He blinks at him in confusion, Hyunwoo thought he made erotic noises when he eats?

“That’s going to take too long and plus we can’t afford a meal every time his character sucks someone off,”Wendy shoots back,”Just suck on your finger but don’t eat the cream.”

Hoseok looks distressed staring at his index finger and the Pillsbury tub.

“He can't’” Kidoh finally comments,”It’s like when I eat gum. I can't help but swallow it after a minute. I mean it’s a waste but I can’t help myself.”

Hoseok nods eagerly at the producer through the class but Wendy looks less than pleased about it.

She reaches to brush her fingers through her hair but stops midway, her eagle eyes zeroing in on Hoseok,”You’re comfortable with Hyunwoo right?”

He just nods.

“Good, let us skip to plan b?” She almost purrs, leaving the other three males in confusion, ”Hyunwoo, dip your finger in the icing.”

_Huh.Huh_.

The realization hits him like a ton of bricks, all air in his stomach rushing out as his jaw drops. He stares wildly at Wendy until he catches sight of Suga laughing so hard, he might fall off his chair.

“You're joking?” Hoseok tries but Wendy looks serious than ever,”B-but”

“No buts, “ She hushes him,”We need to get this done. Can’t waste time like yesterday.”

That strikes a nerve in Hoseok. He intended on coming in today with no traces of yesterday's failure on him. He was going to get things down. He can’t help but feel a little sting from her annoyed tone.

“Okay,” He manages.

Its Hyunwoo turns to look shellshock and Hoseok almost chokes on the sight.

His lips are parted as his wide eyes alternate between Wendy and Hoseok,”She wasn’t joking?”

Hoseok isn’t sure if that was a question or a statement.

“Nope,” she says firmly,”Come on, dip your finger.”

Hoseok giggles, enjoying the effect this has on the swimmer. Hyunwoo moves slowly as he wipes his finger using the same wet wipe and awkwardly inserts his finger into the tub. His eyes furrow in concentration and Hoseok can’t help but check him out. It was true that his expression was usually blank but his actual features held so much character.

“Hurry up,” she pushes irritably.

Hoseok takes offense to this but says nothing, it was his fault. Shifting in his seat, Hyunwoo isn’t sure how to go about doing this.For once Hoseok takes the lead, his own hand comes to wrap around Hyunwoo’s wrist and he guides the finger into his mouth as Hyunwoo rest his elbow on the table.

Hyunwoo flushing a deep red color is the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes. He feels Hyunwoo jerk slightly as he seals his lips. The sugar substance is there but can't taste it over the reality that Hyunwoo’s finger is in his mouth.

Hoseok reminds himself, he just needs to makes sounds. This isn’t the time to practice the oral skills he’s picked up from watching porn.

“We going on record,” Wendy warns.

Before Hoseok can do anything Hyunwoo speaks,”Just be careful of your teeth.”

That’s his cue and he takes the finger slightly deep, trying to make a muffled sound at the back of his throat. He doesn’t know how it sounds but when he opens his eyes, Hyunwoo stares at him intently. The swimmer blinks, flushing deeper, his available hands reaching to hold up the script. He doesn’t have any real lines, just a few words.

Wendy’s finger come to nudge him and he continues trying out a variation of sounds, most he can’t make out himself. His closes and opens his eyes, looking to Hyunwoo for criticism but the swimmer just continues to stare at him. Hoseok takes it as a positive and continues. He keeps trying to ignore the perverse thoughts at the back of his head but they keep slipping through.

The visual of Hyunwoo staring him down don’t make things easier. For some reason, Hoseok thinks Hyunwoo might smell of chlorine. Probably because he’s imagining sucking him off in the change room. His tongue pressed up against the thick finger but all Hoseok can think about is how good those fingers will feel in his hair. The rest of his little show is on autopilot. His mind racing back to the visual of Hyunwoo tenderly feeding the kitten. The thought alone seems to discourage his growing hardness and Hoseok is grateful. A boner is the last thig he needs now.

Wendy’s finger taps him to bring him out of his daze. Hoseok’s eyes flicker open, his lips loosening around the digit but Hoseok doesn’t retract it. Hoseok once again takes the lead and moves back, a string of saliva forming between them. Before Hoseok can notice, Hyunwoo moves his hand, bring his wrist up to brush away the mix of saliva and cream with his jacket. Hoseok lets him, feeling like a toddler that’s made a mess. It’s a gray area, Hoseok doesn’t know how to react. He just lets Hyunwoo tend to him, tenderly like the way he fed the kitten.

“That weren’t pretty well. Don’t worry about the length, Suga will edit it. But you guys know, I think that’s our first scene complete,” Wendy announces, her eyes wide as she looks at the students.

Hoseok doesn’t feel the relief he thinks he should.

No, he’s feeling something completely different, something foreign and it scares him.

“Is that it for today?” Hyunwoo asks calmly as he cleans his finger.

“Yeah,” Wendy ponders out loud,”Guess the whole finger licking shock is still in Hoseok’s system.”

Suga laughs with her but Hoseok can’t hear it, he’s miles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried pushing this out the moment i got back online. still needs editing.

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter up, will be updating daily i think. yeah, thanks for reading and comments will be appreciated.


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